True Love by Sarah Gerard

Author:Sarah Gerard
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2020-05-09T00:00:00+00:00

Thirteen

With Aaron’s last paycheck from the Greta Gerwig film, he takes me out to celebrate at Minetta Tavern. It’s a Greenwich Village relic with red leather booths and chessboard tile, with caricatures of dead actors adorning the walls. We order two glasses of Bordeaux and steak frites, with a plate of bread doused in butter. I don’t consider many things sacred, but in the ensuing weeks since leaving Seth, I have come to feel that my relationship with Aaron is sacred. We’re standing at a pivotal intersection in both of our lives. It feels preordained that the stakes are low for both of us: neither of us has bad credit, college loans, or children to worry about, and that leaves this period of our lives free as a space of mutation and transformation. Ours may well become a legendary artistic collaboration. Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe. Maya Deren and Alexander Hammid.

I envision myself becoming a softer, more introverted, more introspective, deeper, and more prolific person as Aaron’s creative and romantic partner. I’ve wanted to be sensitive to Seth’s feelings, so have deactivated my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts. I’ve told Aaron that in general I don’t like having my picture taken, and I ask him not to post about us. Privately, I don’t want to rub my new happiness in Seth’s face. I want to insulate Aaron from the judgment and interference of people who think they know things about me. My past mistakes should not reflect poorly on him. Aaron has done nothing wrong.

My phone rings and I wouldn’t normally answer it at the table, but it seems Odessa is in crisis. This is the third day in a row she’s called me, and people in our age group don’t call. My work schedule, lack of privacy since moving into Leonard’s, and poor reception on the subway have made it difficult for Odessa and me to talk, so I’ve kept our conversations brief. She asks me how I’m doing, and I say I’m processing, resting, and practicing self-care. She asks me how I’m spending my free time. This seems invasive, but I tell her I’m cocooning.

“Reading,” I say. “Working on True Love.”

“The script with Aaron?”

“Did I tell you about that?”

“You sent me his song.”

“Right.”

“What’s going on with you two?”

“We’ve decided to approach the thriller writer about executive-producing.”

“That’s not what I asked you.”

“I’m sorry, what are you asking?”

Aaron touches my shoulder, and I look up to see our waiter depositing two steaks on the table, pooling in blood. A man with a Polaroid camera exits the back room and begins circulating throughout the restaurant, taking people’s pictures. Two tables down from us, a Midwestern father hands him a bill and his flashbulb discharges. He sets the photo facedown on the tablecloth.

“Don’t treat me like a moron,” says Odessa.

“We’re looking at apartments together,” I say. “It makes sense financially.”

“Are you ready for that?”

“Are you okay?” says Aaron.

“Can I call you later?” I say.

“I need to tell you something,” she says.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

The photographer reaches us and Aaron hands him a bill.

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