This is the Water (P.S.) by Yannick Murphy

Author:Yannick Murphy [Murphy, Yannick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2014-07-29T00:00:00+00:00

The next day at practice you wish you had not fallen asleep so early the night before. You wish you had moved close to Thomas and reached out for him and stroked him the way he liked, your fingertips moving in an upward motion. You wish you were not seeing Paul walk into the facility right at this moment. You think he’s smiling at you and then you realize he is actually smiling at Chris. You wish you were done with your laps already so you could stay and talk to Paul, but you have not swum yet. While swimming, and lifting your head to the side for a breath, you see Paul and Chris in the stands, sitting close to each other, watching their daughter. You see Paul put his arm around Chris while they watch Cleo, his fingers dangling close to one of her perfect breasts. You wish they did not look like such a perfect couple.

This is you at home trying on Sofia’s racing john. The suit has legs that reach to just above your knees. The children are out playing in the stream and Thomas is at the lab. You try it on in front of your dresser mirror. Since Sofia is a few inches taller than you are, and the size is bigger than what you would order for yourself, you think it might possibly fit. You want to see if it sucks in all of your fat and makes you look as thin as Chris is. You wonder if one day Paul would somehow want to see you in it. You do one leg at a time. Just getting the legs on takes you a good two minutes, now comes the rear. You tug and pull to get it up. As you’re struggling your rear gets compressed upward, and your cheeks rise up above your waist looking like two bubbles on your lower back, looking like two of those Styrofoam life preservers in the shape of an egg that mothers from your mother’s generation put on their children when they were first learning to swim. You begin to sweat all over and at once, as if you were seriously ill and had a high fever and your fever just decided to break now. For a moment you think you might rip the suit by mistake, but then you remind yourself how much the suit cost, and how the seams are ultra-reinforced, and how there is no way it could rip. You think you might faint, but you take a deep breath, exhale it slowly, and then get back to work. You tug. You pull. You extend your buttocks forward and back, a rocking motion to help slide it up and over. Pop, you think you distinctly hear when the suit finally does go over your rear. Now for the body and the straps. With the body on, you feel your chest being compressed. You wonder if this is how the women hunted in the Salem witch hunts felt when they were stoned to death.

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