The Will by Harvey Swados

Author:Harvey Swados [Swados, Harvey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780586035160
Publisher: Random House
Published: 1971-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

8: KITTY

IF KITTY HAD FRIGHTENED an obstinate cop unnecessarily, she felt no guilt about it. Quite the contrary. She had wisely protected her unborn child, so Solomon Stark had assured her; she had at least temporarily pulled Ralph out of a hole; and she had given herself a badly needed respite.

How good it was to be relieved of the round of responsibilities! She had been drawn into that routine insidiously, like a donkey which is first gently blinkered and then brutally beaten to make it tread a continuous circle. So it was delicious to lie on her back between crisp sheets, to sip ice water through a bent straw, to be served breakfast (no matter how dismal the food), and best of all to be freed from the necessity of making petty decisions. They were the worst; compared to them even the larger decisions—which men made so much noise about but which seemed to her to mature almost spontaneously, growing like flowers once you had planted the seeds and watered them—were simple. Becoming a mother, say, or settling in your mind the nature of your marriage.

Yet this freedom was merely provisional. Even though Ralph had not yet come to see her or phoned her for that matter—whether from a compassionate feeling that she should have a period of absolute tranquillity, from shame at having involved her brutally in a murderous revelation of his real temper, or from hatred because she had called in outsiders against his express injunction—Kitty was perfectly aware that she had to make new decisions for herself and Ralph. Indeed, now was precisely the time for calm analysis of the blood that had flowed from the two antagonists, as well as from her own womb; yet she preferred to temporize, to enjoy these last precious hours of luxurious mindless solitude.

Dr. Stark had installed her in a semiprivate room and promptly put her under sedation. At dawn two attendants had removed her aged roommate, from whom she had been separated by a screen anyway and who had probably died during the night. Now the other bed was stripped and bare, and through the open window (the heat had broken during the night) came the pleasant muted sounds of the city. Trucks, delivery wagons, children in a school playground across the way. A delicious sun warmed the dull green walls of the high-ceilinged old hospital room.

There was a rap on the door. Before Kitty could speak an elderly nun entered. Smiling, she shook her head on observing how Kitty was hastening to smooth out the bedclothes.

“Don’t disturb yourself, my dear. You have a visitor, but he can only stay a few minutes. Doctor’s orders.”

Before Kitty could inquire as to who was coming, the old nun withdrew. Hastily Kitty combed out her hair. She had just finished making up her lips, and was blotting them with a folded piece of hospital tissue, when there was a knock on the door once again. This time it did not open.

“Come in,” Kitty called out.

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