The Umbrella Men by Keith Carter

Author:Keith Carter [Carter, Keith]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Neem Tree Press
Published: 2019-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Kiara’s Office, London, July 2007

Kiara had put together a version of her trademark Cadendo nell’amore con Londra package – travel, accommodation, orientation and evening activities – for a group of students from Rome and Naples. She had sent them lists of approved accommodation for the term time and booked a hotel for those who had not yet made their longer-term arrangements. She would take them on one of her well-tried routes, sightseeing and teaching them the geography of the sprawling city. They would go to a West End show, a musical preferably, and a typical British pub. Theoretically the package was two days of intense activity, then they were on their own – except that she often found herself providing an unofficial after-sales service when things went wrong. She didn’t mind. She switched on her desktop computer and, whilst it was booting up, checked she had the right number of Oyster cards and the correct time of arrival for the students’ flights. Online, she saw that neither flight was delayed and flipped to her emails. An apologetic message from one of the students lengthily explained that he would no longer be coming to London, for personal reasons linked to his girlfriend’s mistrust of loose Englishwomen and their morality, sentiments based, it seemed, on observations made at one of the more down-market beach resorts on the Amalfi coast. Eleven places booked and paid for, ten students coming; last minute change being an Italian speciality, Kiara was unconcerned.

“Ricardo, where have you booked in today’s group? Hotel and theatre, I mean? One’s not coming.” Ricardo was born in Mile End and known as Dick to his family and friends, but he saw having Kiara call him “Ricardo” as one of the best perks of working at the agency. He was generally able to purchase or sell theatre tickets with ease, something Kiara put down, correctly, to his East End connections.

“The usual hotel in Russell Square, got the discount rate again, and Beauty and the Beast. They’re doing a revival. Bloody crap, most likely, but your little Italian friends’ll love it. I’ll offload that ticket no probs.”

“Beauty and the Beast? On stage? In the West End?”

Despite his accent and background, Dick was something of a cultural snob. “Yes, Kiara, they keep doing this, y’know, remaking stuff. Here’s how it goes: European folk-lore fairy tale from time immemorial, normally earthy and honest and quite bloody, gets written down sometime in the eighteenth century, gets redone and redone and increasingly banal over the years, until finally Disney get their hands on it and complete the process of sugar-coating. Then this is the version perpetuated, that the Lloyd-Webbers and so on make into stage musicals.”

“Oh, but it’s a great film!” Kiara was genuinely shocked. “I’m not so sure the bloody original version would be much good. I loved the Disney film when I was a girl. Maybe people like sugar-coating, Ricardo.” She hesitated for a moment. “Don’t – how did you say – ‘offload’ the ticket, Ricardo. I think I know someone who might like to come.

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