The Testament of Mary by Colm Toibin

Author:Colm Toibin
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Scribner
Published: 2012-11-13T05:00:00+00:00

When Marcus came I was expecting him. I heard knocking for a while and then I heard him asking a neighbour where I was. I opened the door for him. The shadows were gathering, but I did not light a lamp; it was a month or more since I had used a lamp. I offered him a chair at the table and then some water and some fruit. I told him to tell me what he could. He said that there was only one thing he had to tell me and I should be ready to hear the worst. He said that a decision had been made to deal with the situation. He stopped for a moment and I thought it might be that my son would be banished or commanded not to appear in public or speak again. But I stood up and went towards the door and, for what reason I do not know, made as though to leave the house so I would not have to hear what he would now say. But I did not reach the door in time. He spoke flatly, firmly.

‘He is to be crucified,’ he said.

I turned and I knew from his statement that there was only one question to be asked.

‘When?’

‘Within a short time,’ he said. ‘He has moved back towards the centre of power and there are even more followers. The authorities know where he is and they can capture him at any time.’

And then I found myself asking a foolish question, but a question I had to ask.

‘Is there anything that can be done to stop this?’

‘No,’ he said, ‘but you must leave here as soon as it is dawn. They will come looking for all his followers.’

‘I am not one of his followers,’ I said.

‘You must believe me when I say that they will come looking for you. You must leave.’

I remained standing and I asked him what he would do.

‘I will leave now but I can give you an address where you will be safe in Jerusalem.’

‘Where I will be safe?’ I asked.

‘You will be safe for the moment in Jerusalem.’

‘Where is my son?’

‘Close to Jerusalem. The site for the crucifixion has been chosen. It will be near the city. If there is any chance for him, it will be there, but I have been told that there is no chance and that there has been no chance for some time. They have been waiting.’

I had seen a crucifixion once, carried out by the Romans on one of their own. It was in the distance and I remember thinking that it was the most foul and frightening image that had ever been conjured up by men. I remember thinking also that I was old and getting older and that I hoped I would die before I ever saw anything like that again. It stayed with me, the sight in the distance, and it made me shiver and I had tried to think of another subject to obliterate the memory of this, the unspeakable image, the vast, fierce cruelty of it.

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