The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker

Author:Pat Barker
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2018-09-03T16:00:00+00:00

24

Patroclus had been gone a long time; much longer than could be accounted for by his escorting Odysseus and Ajax to the gate.

Achilles picked up the lyre, put it down again, poured himself a cup of wine, didn’t drink it. The dogs, ears pricked for the sound of footsteps in the hall, had begun to whine. He bent down and fondled their heads, thinking: Yeah, you and me both.

When, at last, Patroclus came in, wet hair straggling across his face, he looked like a wild animal, something you might glimpse in the dunes at night, red eyes stitched on darkness. The draughty, wind-warped hut seemed to shrink around him as he came towards the hearth, chafing his arms, pretending to be colder than he was so he could lean in closer to the fire and not have to look at Achilles.

“You took your time.”

Patroclus was trying and failing to disguise his anger.

“Well,” he said, at last, “that was brutal.”

“The dead-pig bit? Aah, don’t worry, he won’t repeat it.”

“No, Achilles. Briseis. That was brutal.”

Achilles shifted in his chair. “At least she didn’t lie.”

“She didn’t speak!” Patroclus pushed the dogs away from him. “Achilles, what is it you want?”

“I want him to admit he was wrong.”

“But he can’t. Odysseus knew you wanted an apology, he just couldn’t offer it.”

“Then it’s a pity he didn’t save himself the walk.”

Patroclus sat down and the dogs settled at his feet. “I suppose it was quite funny in a way.”

“Was it? I must’ve missed that bit.”

“Yes—Odysseus, so clever, so articulate, so—”

“Devious.”

“But it was Ajax who really got to you.”

“He didn’t. Get to me.”

Patroclus looked at him. “Yes, he did.”

Achilles selected an unnecessary log and threw it onto the fire. “How was she?”

“How d’you think?”

“I couldn’t have done anything else.”

Patroclus remained stubbornly silent.

“All right, let’s have it.”

“We should’ve gone home. No, listen. List-en. Not so long ago, you criticized Agamemnon when he told his men the war was over and they were going home—”

“Well, of course I did, I’ve never heard anything so bloody stupid.”

“But don’t you see, you did exactly the same thing? I’ve been insulted, that’s it, we’re finished here—we’re going home. Everybody understood. Only then, suddenly, we’re not going home. They’d started looking forward to seeing their wives and kids. It’s not been easy. It’s not easy to get them out there morning after morning training to do something they’re not allowed to do.”

“I know it’s not easy—and you’re doing a marvellous job. Do you think I don’t know that?” Achilles reached behind his head and tugged his hair out of the band that was tying it back. “C’mon, then, what are they saying?”

“Oh, just the usual—that you’re impossible. That your mother suckled you on bile.”

“Well, that’s true.”

“No, listen. They don’t know what they’re doing here. Sitting around like a load of poky old women while the men go off to fight.”

“He’ll come crawling in the end.”

“No, Achilles. He won’t.”

“He will if he’s faced with losing the war.”

Patroclus puffed out his cheeks. “I give up.

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