The Other Side of Disappearing by Kate Clayborn

Author:Kate Clayborn [Clayborn, Kate]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington Books
Published: 2023-12-27T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

Jess

In general, I’m not one to exaggerate.

But it’s the best two days I can remember having in years.

It isn’t that I haven’t had good days in the last decade of my life. If I think back, I can count a lot of them, in fact. Tegan’s first day of sixth grade was a great one: in the class she wanted to be in, with the teacher we’d hoped she’d get, wearing an outfit she’d loved, smiling huge and happy when she’d gotten off the bus in the afternoon. Mid-May five years ago, there was a day where I got a return big enough to pay off our property taxes for the year, and Tegan and I had ordered takeout for an entire week in celebration. The day Tegan got accepted to Allegheny with a scholarship package that made me cry—in the shower, of course—with relief.

And there’s smaller ones, too, little victories of life that I know I don’t think about or appreciate enough. There’s times when Tegan and I have laughed together until our stomachs hurt or times when she’s rested her head on my shoulder or thanked me earnestly for some everyday service I’ve done her. Times when I’ve watched her do something smart or kind or generous or funny and felt a swell of pride and love so big that it almost took my breath away.

But those days, they’re different from these two.

It starts with Adam Hawkins doing exactly what he said he’d do: He takes me out.

Midmorning in small-town Missouri, me and him in the minivan alone, windows down and driving past places that he tells me about as we go: the fields where he first played peewee football, the diner that still serves his late grandfather’s favorite apple pie with a slice of melted cheddar cheese on top, the chain pharmacy his mom refuses to go to because it replaced her favorite local place over fifteen years ago. We go to what has to be the most sophisticated farmers’ market I’ve ever seen, and a woman who sells beautiful, delicious-smelling loaves of bread pinches Adam’s lean, stubbled cheeks and looks at me as though I belong right there beside him. We drive back to the house with three bags of fresh food and together we make the kind of lunch that Adam says will get him forgiven for missing chores in the morning.

In the afternoon we go out again, this time with Tegan and Beth to the hardware store. We buy a bunch of stuff for a project Beth says Adam ruined yesterday, and they rag on each other good-naturedly in a way that makes Tegan and me smile at each other in sheepish envy. We get the girls from camp, take turns jumping on the trampoline again, eat a noisy dinner all together at the huge dining room table, and the whole time, things feel so easy between Tegan and me, easy like our best days at home, or maybe even easier.

That night, Adam

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