The Nachman Stories by Leonard Michaels

Author:Leonard Michaels [Leonard Michaels]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781911547082
Publisher: Daunt Books
Published: 2017-04-15T00:00:00+00:00

Nachman joined the group that had formed around Lindquist, and immediately forgot Chertoff while trying to think how to make a pleasant remark, with perhaps the slightest hint, giving Lindquist pause. Someone whispered to Lindquist, and he looked towards Nachman, spotting him at the edge of the group. Lindquist extended his hand, urging Nachman forward. ‘Thank you for coming to hear my talk, Nachman. I feel honoured.’

Shaking Lindquist’s long, cool surgeon’s hand, Nachman decided not to give any hints. Lindquist was disarming in his friendliness, which made it harder, not easier, to suggest his failure. Besides, Lindquist was extremely quick. He might see everything instantly, regardless of how subtle the hint, and he’d be furious because Nachman hadn’t been forthright. Others would sympathise with Lindquist. Even when they saw that Nachman was right – no, especially when they saw he was right. Better to keep his mouth shut. Nachman knew what he knew. A difficult knowledge. Why bring himself into bad odour? People need to believe, which requires an irrationality, a suspension of critical faculties, an abnegation of will, a spreading of the thighs. Nachman’s colleagues, like Saint Teresa, had been ravished, penetrated with belief. Between a mistake and madness, there was a nourishing relationship. If they knew what Nachman thought, they’d despise and revile him. Chertoff was right. Nachman was frightened.

The Swede looked with blue incisiveness into Nachman’s brown eyes. ‘What do you say, Nachman? It was all right?’

As if speaking from a trance, Nachman said, ‘Wonderful.’

‘Wonderful? Did I play the cello? I only did mathematics. I saw you in the audience and watched your face. It didn’t look full of wonder.’

Nachman shouldn’t have said ‘Wonderful’. A bleat of mindless enthusiasm. Helpless to undo the word, Nachman repeated it, ‘Wonderful.’

Lindquist nodded gravely. ‘All right, then, wonderful. Such praise coming from you is …’ He made a noise, not an intelligible word. His tone was grim, as if he detected in the word ‘wonderful’ a form of contempt. ‘Do you have time to talk, Nachman? If you want to say something, I want to listen.’

‘Now?’ Nachman had intended to say he had nothing to say. With the question – ‘Now?’ – he surprised himself. Where did the word come from? It made him feel like a liar.

‘Lunch tomorrow. Could you call my room in the morning?’

‘You’re staying at this hotel?’

Another question. Of course Lindquist was staying at this hotel. The whole conference was here. Lindquist looked puzzled and mock-injured, pouting as if Nachman’s question were an oblique insult. ‘Are you being evasive, Nachman? Would you prefer not to meet for lunch?’

‘I will,’ said Nachman. ‘I’ll call.’ His voice was eager, compensating for the imagined insult. The talk had been stressful, making Lindquist hypersensitive, but there had been no insult. Unless he’d been struck by a critical thought-ray from Nachman’s subconscious, a flow of searing deadly brain light. Nachman remembered Chertoff’s question, ‘If he’s a mathematician, what are you?’ He’d meant that Lindquist’s existence, merely that, threatened Nachman’s, and vice versa.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.