The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis by Max Shulman

Author:Max Shulman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media

The Face Is Familiar But—

You can never tell. Citizens, you can never tell. Take the week end of May 18. From all indications it was going to be a dreamboat. Saturday night was the fraternity formal, and Sunday night Petey Burch was taking me to the Dr. Askit quiz broadcast. Every prospect pleased.

At 7:30 Saturday night I got into my rented tux and picked up my rented car. At 8:30 I called for my date and was told that she had come down with the measles at 7:30. So I shugged my rented shoulders, got into my rented car, and went to the dance alone.

I had taken my place in the stag line when Petey Burch rushed up to me, his face flushed with excitement. He waved a letter at me. “I’ve got it!” he cried. “Here’s a letter from my parents saying I can join the Navy.” Petey, like me, was seventeen years old and needed permission from home to enlist.

“That’s swell, Petey,” I said. “I’ve got some news too. My date has the measles.”

“Tough,” he said sympathetically. Then he suddenly got more excited than ever and hollered: “No! No, that’s perfect. Listen, Dobie, the recruiting station is still open. I can go right down and enlist now.”

“But what about the dance? What about your date?”

“The Navy,” said Petey, snapping to attention, “needs men now. Every minute counts. How can I think of staying at a dance when there’s a war to be won? I’ve got to get out of here, Dobie. I owe it to the boys Over There.”

“What are you going to tell your date?”

“That’s where you come in, Dobie. You take my girl; I go catch a bus. I won’t tell her anything. I’ll just disappear and you explain it to her later.”

“Won’t she mind?”

“I suppose she will, but it doesn’t really matter. This is the first date I’ve ever had with her and I’ll probably never see her again.” He set his jaw. “God knows when I’ll be coming back from Over There.”

“I understand,” I said simply.

“Thanks, old man,” he said simply.

We shook hands.

“By the way,” I said, “what about those two tickets you’ve got for the Dr. Askit broadcast tomorrow night?”

“They’re yours,” he said, handing them to me.

“Thanks, old man,” I said simply.

“Here comes my date now,” Petey said, pointing at the powder-room door. I took one look at her and knew what a patriot he must be to run out on a smooth operator like that. She was strictly on the side of angels.

“Where’d you find her?” I drooled.

“Just met her the other night. She’s new around here. Now. I’ll introduce you and you dance with her while I make my getaway.”

“Solid,” I agreed.

She walked over to us, making pink-taffeta noises. The timing was perfect. The orchestra was tuning up for the first number just as she reached us.

“Hi,” said Petey. “I want you to meet a friend of mine. Dobie Gillis, this is—”

At that instant the orchestra started to play and I didn’t catch her name.

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