The Man He Needs by Sarah Masters

Author:Sarah Masters [Masters, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Erotic Romance Fiction
Publisher: Totally Bound Publishing
Published: 2014-02-06T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Five

I’m not fucking going anywhere

“Oh, Jesus. Oh my fucking God. Christ, come here, Alfie. Please, just come here.”

He crawls towards me, face wet, more tears streaming. This big man, this big, brawny man has a whole lot of hurt inside. And he’d said his story was stupid, giving me the impression mine was far worse. Jesus, mine’s nothing compared to his. I wasn’t fucked about until I became an adult. Yet Alfie, God, he hadn’t stood a chance from the minute he was born.

Alfie flops on top of me, his weight pushing me into the sofa, but that’s okay. He slides his hands under me, holding me close, and I bury my face in the crook of his neck. He smells so good. His hair tickles my nose, and I hold him just as tight. I was the wind, wasn’t I? The wind in his sails? I reckon he knows where he’s going now, so long as I’m with him. And I will be. No fucking way I’m leaving him.

As he sobs it out, wetting my shoulder with his tears, everything I’ve ever been through pales to insignificance. I have his affliction now, the need to make him feel good, to show him how it is to be loved, to have someone who wants to stay, who won’t leave him. So I reckon we’ll do all right. Everything happens for a reason. We need each other, Alfie and me, suit each other down to the ground regarding our wants and needs.

The sounds he’s making, shit, it tears me up inside, and part of me wants to join him. Cry until I’m all cried out. But I have to be strong for him, put my own hurts aside and help him cope with his. He’s got a greater need, and to be honest, thinking about someone else’s problems will help me forget mine. Me staying here, us growing together, getting over hurdles, means my problems will be gone anyway.

I stroke his back, my small hands seeming even smaller against the broad expanse. He must work out. His muscles, they feel hard and toned beneath my palms, and I stroke him, murmuring that everything will be okay, he has me now.

It’ll take years for him to trust me. I’m not stupid in thinking I can fix this in a matter of days or weeks, but this has been a huge step. We’ve both faced up to our pasts, brought the bogeymen out and looked them dead in the eye, and from here onwards I think we’ve got a pretty good chance of making a go of things.

They say time is a great healer, and I know in this case that’s true. I’ll stay home with Alfie, that’s what I’ll do, let him keep the doors locked and the keys hidden for a while. And when he trusts me enough to take me out, I’ll hold his hand the whole time, squeezing his fingers every so often to let him know I’m still there.

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