The Lover by Rebecca Sacks

Author:Rebecca Sacks
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2023-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

That night, I gave him the pages of letters that I had written while he was last in Hebron. These were the letters he would read while he was at the Gaza border, waiting for the call to go in.

He tucked them into a pocket of his enormous seventy-five-liter backpack. After, we lay together in his twin bed. I return to this memory. How these minutes were suspended. How everything was changing, had already changed, would never be the same. And yet, despite all that would unfold, we lay together concentrically as if held in the same womb.

Tomorrow morning, he would go to Gaza. He’d take a train to get there. Tonight, he was the little spoon. I hugged him from behind. “I will be here,” I said. My nose pressed against the scratchy nape of his neck. Koral had buzzed his hair in the bathroom. She and his mom took turns.

That’s when he jumped up to go to his desk.

The next day, we would hold hands in the car all the way to the train station. We would grip and regrip each other’s fingers, as I remembered how he handed me his death letter stapled shut. A single word written on the front: את. You.

Tomorrow, Eyal was invading Gaza. To get there, he would take the public train. But tonight, we made love quietly as the blind pug Charlotte clacked up and down the hallway. Eyal wanted me on top, maybe wanted to feel surrounded by me. He lay on his back, steadying my hips as I rode him to the rhythm of my own prayer. Don’t go, don’t go.

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