The Lindbergh Nanny by Mariah Fredericks

Author:Mariah Fredericks
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group

* * *

There are two nightmares. I have them wide awake, at two, three in the morning. One is about Henry in jail. Henry, whose father beat him. I imagine him, the youngest, cowering, arms up to protect his head, I didn’t do anything! Oh, but you will, one day you will and this beating is for that. I have heard things about the police in this country. If they do arrest him, thinking he had something to do with the Lindbergh kidnapping, what will they do to him?

The other nightmare is a past I understand differently now. Henry sweet and shy at that dance, a boy who took what life had to offer, and you could take him as you pleased. Which I did because I thought it was safe. This was no Rob Coutts.

But this is when I remember: I had no idea what Rob Coutts was. Because I am a woman, who looks at men and does not see until it is too late.

Now I see the threat with Henry. That undercurrent of doubt, tugging, that I ignored. The questions about the baby. “It’s what you do all day. Yes, I’m interested.” The move to be near me, when I never asked. That time in the car, “They have that new house.… The one they’re building.… Maybe we should go see your room.” Prowling around the upstairs like children: Oh, look in here, the nursery!

The sulks about money. The plan to leave. And that pointless last-minute call. “I don’t have to leave…”

But why stay? If he knew what was going to happen? If he really was that man.

Because he knew I’d be blamed. And part of him cares.

If he cares, why didn’t he call me after?

Why didn’t I call him?

Because I don’t know. There’s the truth of it. Or I know two things. I know Henry Johnson is a kind, soft man at ease in the company of women and children. I know he’s a man who drifts. Who can’t quite take hold of life. He’s not a man to plan something like this, then carry it through with cold-blooded calculation.

But for the person who could do something like this, Henry would be useful. He is handsome. Women like him. And he likes us, knows our bodies. If you wanted to find your way into the Lindbergh household, he’d be a good man to pick. The people who kidnap children work in gangs. Henry, always relying on his brothers, not picky about who he spends time with, can be talked into things by other men, harder men, and not see the danger. It almost calms me, this point of the nightmare, because it makes sense, resolving both Henrys into one.

Find someone lonely, they’ll have told him. They don’t ask questions when they’re lonely.

The clock ticks on, and at some point, the weary realization: Henry did not do this. But he could have and you were careless. His innocence does not make you less guilty. The truth of it weighs on me so heavily I think it would be best to not keep living.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.