The Falling by Anna Todd

Author:Anna Todd [Todd, Anna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wattpad WEBTOON Book Group
Published: 2022-06-15T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

My bedroom door was closed. Was someone inside? It wouldn’t have been unheard of to find a soldier passed out on my bed, or a couple hooking up. Not Austin and Katie, though. They were still in the kitchen, probably talking about me. Katie would be over her hurt by now, and, smart girl that she was, she would have turned the situation around to her advantage, used it to get closer to my brother. United against a common enemy and all that. And Austin would have known that he was onto a sure thing, so he’d likely be going on about how annoying I was, how I’d always been so uncool. He had two sides to him, one that fiercely defended me, no matter what. And one that used me as a prop, a pedestal that elevated him to cool-guy status. I didn’t need three guesses to know which one was down in the kitchen.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t rid myself of the habit of imagining what other people were thinking or saying about me. I did it all the time, even though I knew no good would come of it. It was like picking a cuticle, scratching and nipping at it until it started bleeding. I was doing that now, picturing everyone in the kitchen, wondering what they were saying or thinking. Even the ones who didn’t know my name, they’d think of me as that prissy chick who badmouthed sweet Katie. Someone would ask who I was, and they’d say, Oh, that’s Austin’s sister, and then they’d remember me as the girl who went around picking up empty bottles and pizza boxes as if she was working the night shift at Fridays.

Ugh.

I hated the way my brain worked. I tried to tell myself that I didn’t do anything too horrible, that people would understand I was mostly joking. I never would have talked like that had I known she was there, even if what I said was true.

I was grasping now.

Wasn’t it funny how people always demanded the truth, yet mostly couldn’t handle it when it came along? In all fairness, I was the same way. Demanding the truth, yet holding on to the lies. They came in handy when you wanted to guard yourself against the truth—lies, that is.

I paused in front of my room; I didn’t really think anyone would be inside. This get-together was way calmer than most of the parties Austin had thrown in the past, before he went to stay with our uncle. And I had to admit that Austin seemed a little different now, more stable. Or maybe I wanted him to have calmed down; thinking this way protected me from seeing the truth.

I knocked, then waited before opening the door into what turned out to be an empty room. I stood for a moment before entering, taking everything in. Even the smell. God, the air intoxicated me with a feeling of nostalgia, like the scent of my former life.

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