The Edge of Nowhere: A Tale of Tragedy, Love, Murder, and Survival by C.H. Armstrong

Author:C.H. Armstrong [Armstrong, C.H.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781940811413
Publisher: Penner Publishing
Published: 2016-01-19T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-Six

Most people ask God to forgive their sins. I prayed to Will instead. Though I was deeply relieved that my burdens wouldn’t be increased, I was sorry to have failed Will. I remembered his excitement when I told him of this pregnancy. It stung to realize that I’d let him down. No matter how poor I thought we were, or how much money we didn’t have, Will was always excited at the prospect of a new child. He always found a way to make the money stretch. My relief left me feeling wretched. I knew Will would’ve been saddened at our baby’s death. But how could I not feel relief that my burdens wouldn’t increase? So I prayed to Will. I asked his forgiveness, both for the loss of our child, and for the relief I felt at that loss.

Will’s son was buried on February 8, 1933 on one of the coldest winter days in my memory. I’d withheld naming this child. Naming him made his existence too real. Sadly, my actions caused another rift between myself and the two older girls. Caroline and Olivia, whom I’d once considered very dear friends, were incensed and stopped talking to me entirely. While their absence left another hole in my heart, it was just as well that I experience that loss now. Always loyal, Joseph and Daniel stuck by me. For her part, Catherine was clearly confused and didn’t know which side to take. I was the only mother she’d ever known, but her sisters were mothers to her as well.

Instead of a funeral, we had a simple graveside burial attended only by myself, the children, and Will’s family. I could afford no more. I couldn’t even afford that. Now on top of my mounting debt, I had to find the money to pay Dr. Heusman for his last visit. Like last time, I had nothing to show for his efforts.

Will’s father, Walter, rallied enough to attend the burial; but he, too, gave me the cold shoulder. Seated in a wheelchair pushed by Atticus, he glared at me each time my attention strayed toward him. He was clearly furious that I’d refused Imogene’s summons of my children to his bedside. I’d made yet another enemy.

With the burial concluded, I took the hands of Ethan and Sara, and guided them toward the waiting vehicle. I assumed Grace and Jack would follow, and I hoped Catherine would as well. Passing Imogene and Walter, I was waylaid much like I had been only a short while ago at Will’s funeral.

“Walter. Imogene.” I stopped in front of Will’s parents, waiting to hear what Imogene had to say.

Standing behind his father, Atticus greeted me. “It’s good to see you, Victoria. Veronica and I are both sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, Atticus,” I responded. “Thank you both for comin’.”

“It’s just as well,” Imogene said, not unkindly.

“Yes,” I agreed. “Yes, it is.”

In all the years I’d known Imogene, it was the kindest thing she’d ever said to me. With nothing more to say, I nodded my head and made my way to the truck idling at the curb.

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