The Cat and the City by Nick Bradley

Author:Nick Bradley
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atlantic Books

She hated his hypocrisy. How he was never honest with his sexuality. How he wanted so much, but asked for nothing. Just pretended he was respectable. Pretended as if he was never gripped by animalistic savagery. By those primordial desires that have kept our species around for millennia. He would lie about what he really wanted. He never spoke his true feelings.

She was an enigma to him. She would get so swept away when they were having sex. It seemed as if he would never satisfy her. There was a chasm, an abyss inside her that he could just not fill. He wanted to make love to her slowly, to look into her eyes and feel a certain closeness. But she would pull him in deeper. She would bite his face, nip his ears savagely.

It was true: he liked to see extreme sexual acts. To watch them from afar. From the safety of his laptop screen. True, his tastes verged on the slightly out there, but these were fantasies, not things he wanted to do in real life. A lot of the things he thought about were insane. But he knew that the things that happened in his mind and what happened in real life were separate. He knew the difference between reality and imagination.

Although, there was one thing that had been playing on his mind for a long time. He longed to see Mari with another man. He wanted to be able to step outside his own body and watch the scene. To be able to inspect the lovemaking from all directions. He always wanted to have sex with the lights on, but she wouldn’t let him. He loved to look at her body, but maybe she was shy. She always wanted to have sex in the dark, which after Fukuoka reminded George of walking through the dark tunnel, groping for each other, but missing the point.

Sometimes he thought about disgusting things.

It wasn’t that he wanted to think these things.

Sometimes it was the nature of the English language that conjured up sick thoughts in his mind. He never felt that way about Japanese – even though he didn’t understand it. The fluid, monotonic sound of it alone made it a far more beautiful and spiritual language. English, with its heavy stresses and wobbly intonation, was dirty and repugnant to his ears. He hated the fact that he had to do a day job as an English teacher at an adult conversation school to support his passion as a photographer. He felt like a whore when he taught English. His company actively encouraged him to flirt with the female students who were attracted to him – to lead them on, so they would book the more expensive private sessions. They told him not to mention he had a girlfriend. He had to pretend to be best friends with the male students, to keep them coming back for more. He had constant progress reviews to check whether he was selling enough of the company’s textbooks to his students – there were quotas that had to be met.

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