Teenage Kicks by Young Sian

Author:Young, Sian [YOUNG, SiAN]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781908746191
Publisher: Panoma Press
Published: 2012-03-02T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 7

Strung out on the Line

Need to get out of this party scene. I am taking too much and puking blood. I don’t know who are my friends and who are my enemies. Graham said he had a flat in Weir, away out in the countryside, there only five houses in a row. I will rent it off him for a while; I don’t know what will happen to me but I am ready to explode all over Farvo. If I denny go I feel my life resonating at such a high level, I feel if I don’t act soon I am going to die. So I agree to rent it and off I go, moving into the one-bedroom flat alone. I got a lot of nice drapes given to me by Jacob, a friend. I had to sort out the rent and council stuff and God knows how I have managed this. I am in a daze, I am just living but I feel like I don’t really exist. It is like my soul is completely dying and there is barely a flicker of light left in me.

Should a strong wind blow I will be gone!

Luckily I am used to dealing with the dole as I have been in the system for a

while now.

I arrive at my flat all alone with severe drug and mental problems. I am so

sad and damaged; I do not know why I am here but I feel that no one cares anyway so why should I? I am just waiting for death. May as well be here than anywhere else. I don’t know what to eat. My diet usually consists of bread and drugs; I get some packet cheesy pasta and loads of tins. I begin to feel a pinch in my mind, a need, I want something. I need something, what is it? I am struggling with a hunger, a need that is not going to be met; I am sweating now, it is dripping off me. I am dizzy and there is a carousel of words going around in my head. My stomach is producing violent convulsions and I feel I am falling apart; I need to get to the toilet fast. I try to see it through my sweat and tears, I am bent over holding on to anything I can that will help me get there.

Ahh!! The pain is ripping through my brain, the saliva is building up in my mouth, my jaw is struggling to stay shut then my mouth violently opens wide, my knees retracted to my stomach like they were on springs. I am now kneeling on the toilet and my insides are being deposited in the toilet along with the blood. Oh shit! I must swing around as it is coming from the other end now. Help me, I am so scared, help me! There is no one here to hear my cries; I am alone and scared. Finally the feelings subside and I crawl to my sofa and curl up in a ball.

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