Stayaway Hideaway by Cillian Dunne

Author:Cillian Dunne [Dunne, Cillian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-09-02T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17. The Cigarette

October 1, 2019

Lydia Arnold

Things were going so well there for a little bit. I had my routine back on track. I was paying attention in school. Getting good grades. Being sociable. I even got myself a boyfriend. Well, kind of. We talk in school every other day and we made out at Stacy’s party last week. So, like he’s kind of my boyfriend but not really.

But every now and again I have my bad days. The days where I feel lost and empty inside. The days where I miss my father. He was the most important thing in my life and he was taken from me. I’m done complaining about it. Shit happens. But it’s changed me nonetheless. I never had bad days like this when he was around.

That bitch of a sister I have doesn’t help either. We haven’t talked much in a while, but she started to keep in touch with my mom. I just don’t fucking get why she has to intrude in our lives like that. We’re still grieving and she isn’t fucking helping. God damnit it makes me so mad. On my bad days, when I’m mad, it can be hard to control myself and think straight.

Today is one of those days. But, I think I have found a way to control it. See, I’m a very observant person. I notice things about people. Things that most people don’t see. For example, Aurelia is clearly a drug addict. Not a bad one, I think. But like just a little bit. She always has bags under her eyes and her hair is always messy. When she’s sitting down for too long she clicks her fingers together while her leg shakes rapidly.

Speaking of that, Detective Pete shows similar characteristics to his personality. That man has a lot of anxiety. He shows it a lot. He just constantly looks stressed out all the time. But, being the observant person that I am. I noticed how he counteracts it. How he gets rid of all that stress, anger, and anxiety.

Cigarettes.

So last week when I met with Detective Pete, I snagged a couple of his cigarettes when he wasn’t looking. I figured that he probably smokes so much of them that he would barely notice. I stole a lighter from my mom this morning before she left. She usually isn’t home until one or two nowadays. And I told her I was going to play soccer with one of my friends. So I have a couple hours to smoke one and get the smell off.

Well, there’s no time like the present. Let me light it up.

So this is what this feels like. Like there’s nothing but air in my head. Kind of like a balloon. I can’t really feel my arms or legs. But in a weird way, I can feel everything to touch so much more. Like everything is that much more sensitive.

Suddenly, I hear the front door shut. Fuck me. I’m standing out back, and there’s only one way in, one way out.

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