Sound of Mind by Mustard Professor;

Author:Mustard, Professor;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: poetry, mental illness, psychology, schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, i love you, schizophrenia memoirs, schizophrenia mental health delusional thinking theology imagination
Publisher: Scribl

Chapter 17 I was Thrown Away

On the television is a basketball game, Red jerseys versus Blue. The trees, deeply rooted, in the ground never change places, only faces. On another level in this insane maze, I am in the game.

We are the players, once more playing for the amusement of the trees. I wonder which one I am.

“Who am I?” I ask, possibly the earliest known question, countlessly asked through the ends of time. How do you know which player you are? If only I had some way to tell myself apart.

“Oh! They have numbers on their jerseys! That’s how you know who you are!”

What was my number? Which number will I pick? I know, thinking, I will pick up this Nancy Drew book The Secret of the Old Clock (ok very Mysterious) and with my eyes shut, open to any page, and that will be the number I pick when I get drafted into the NBA.

I close my eyes and turn the book several times before feeling for a page. I open it to page 88. I read the first line aloud, “Nancy had studied psychology in school and was familiar with the power of suggestion and association.”

“I am number 88!” I whallop.

“What are you making a bet?” Sue asks.

Jack searches the portal with his eye once more, “This is the real deal. Your number 88 and I’m the Easter Bunny.”

“May I make an associated suggestion?” I say. Obviously Jack is out of his tree, the Easter Bunny carries a basket, the kind that has nothing to do with basketball. But still, I have questions. Why does the Easter Bunny rabbit lay eggs? Is he asexual?

They switch to a different game for a report. “Oh this could be fun!” Says Sue, “I bet on number XX! He looks like he knows how to give a lady every inch of a good time she needs!”

“I’ll be number XX from Miami,” says Sarah, “They have good Drugs there.”

Maggy wants to be the receding hairline referee and Jack begins a long introduction of how he once sponsored a shoe factory promotion for his seamstress machine operators over the new cut design of the all stars tennis shoes when Nurse Sweet Pea calls us all for dinner. “Let’s go.”

I have earned cafeteria privileges, but I wonder, will the game still play if there is no one to watch it? We line up and Nurse Sweet Pea with the jingle of her key, unlocks the door.

Down the hallway I duck low and fast and do a kind of jig with my number 88 penciled in on my back, I block invisible balls and hit nothing (really, not one nothing!) but net. We enter the cafeteria as I dribble. There is a line. I can smell bar-b-que, “Fowl!” I mutter cursing. The game hinges on this.

Matter can neither be created nor destroyed. It just changes. So since I’m rooted in the ground and do not go anywhere, my scenery just moves around me. Everything is the same, only disguised differently, no matter which room I’m in.

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