Something Is Always Happening Somewhere by Kelly McClure

Author:Kelly McClure [Kelly McClure]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: WolfieVibes Publications
Published: 2022-02-18T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 6

Dale hadn’t been back to All Saints Cemetery since Gina’s funeral, but she woke up one sunny Sunday morning desperately wanting to spend time with her wife.

Since losing her, Dale found that she did a pretty good job pretending she was still alive but just out somewhere, yet to return. At work, she could pretend that Gina was also at work. She sat at her desk, typing, and envisioned her doing the same on the other side of town. For a while, she’d even text Gina’s phone. Boring everyday stuff like “what should we have for dinner tonight?” or “wanna go to a movie this Saturday?” These small actions of the past made her feel like she still had somewhat of a normal life. Until the day her texts stopped going through because the number was no longer in service. That day she deleted the entry labeled as “Gina Cell” from her address book and then went home early to cry until she threw up.

You can squeeze your life into looking almost any way you want it to. It just takes a bit of imagination. Delusional, willful imagination. You can sit on the couch and pretend that, at any minute, your wife will walk through the door and sit down next to you. She’d done it so many times that the ghost of her was still in there doing it. Over and over. On a loop. Energy forever spent. But sometimes it’s not enough. Sometimes your brain refuses to play along. In those cases, you gotta do the next best thing. The lies are better though. Always better. And there’s less recovery time.

* * *

There’s no way to make a trip to a cemetery feel like anything other than what it is, so Dale made no effort to avoid the somber mood. Rolling the windows down, allowing the sweet smelling air to rush in as she drove, she used the Spotify app on her phone to play Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You.” As the first few notes of the song came through the speakers she found herself fighting to keep her eyes from clouding with tears. When they’d first started dating making romantic playlists for people was still a thing, and Gina had placed this track prominently on the first mix she’d ever sent her. Dale had played it non-stop, anytime she wanted to daydream about her new love. So much so, during their first year together, that she still knew every single word by heart. It had been awhile since she’d played the song, but was putting it back into rotation. If she could stand it. The song wasn’t even halfway through and already she felt a sick ache in her chest.

The parking lot of the cemetery was all but empty, aside from a few other cars she could see parked further back. She kept the windows down and fished out a cigarette from her purse, cueing up “Fade Into You” one more time, sinking into the lyrics, torturing herself with her memories.

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