Sinner's Creed by Scott Stapp

Author:Scott Stapp [Stapp, Scott]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Entertainment & Performing Arts, Biography & Autobiography, Religious, Christian
ISBN: 9781414364575
Google: _EFudbE012MC
Barnesnoble:
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
Published: 2012-10-02T02:58:51+00:00

We went on to tour the world and found armies of fans in London, Paris, Amsterdam, Tokyo, and Sydney. It was hard to believe that this was happening to a ragtag college bar band from Tallahassee.

In Paris we made the pilgrimage to the cemetery where Jim Morrison is buried. He was the one who led me to Florida State, where our band was born. He was the one who showed me that poetry and rock could be forged into a single expression. This master of rock romanticism had died at age twenty-seven. I was twenty-five.

Like John Keats, he represented the death of beauty at a tragically young age. Both men had made an early exit yet had gifted the world with their exquisite art. Was it my fate to follow Morrison to an early death? Would the same bewildering stardom that had destroyed Morrison destroy me? Or was I flattering myself to even make the comparison? Was I ego-tripping to imagine that I would be remembered as someone even remotely as gifted as the leader of The Doors?

The Greek lettering on Morrison’s tombstone means, “True to his own spirit.”

What did it mean to be true to mine?

In spite of my wanderings, I knew my spirit was in Christ. My job was to allow His Spirit to lead me through the dream world of rock and roll.

This world was becoming more than a dream, though. It was a reality that hardly seemed real.

At the same time, after shows and between shows, I began to feel drastic letdowns. To a certain extent that is normal, of course. Being onstage is a tremendous high, and postperformance letdowns are to be expected. But my lows took me deeper and deeper into a dark place.

I started looking for ways to cope. When I smoked pot on occasion, my fantasies intensified. At times my drinking led to blackouts—an obvious danger sign. Had I been sober on a continual basis, I might have recognized the signs that had been there since I was a child: I was struggling with serious depression.

My mother had seen this tendency since I was in elementary school. There had been talk about medication, but she had felt the risks were too great at my young age. As for Steve Stapp, I’m not sure he had the sensitivity to even see that I had depression issues. Even if he did, he had no faith in psychopharmacological solutions to depression. Whatever was wrong, he thought he could beat it out of me.

As Creed took off, I started self-medicating more and more. Weed and alcohol served as my antidepressants.

So did getting onstage night after night, singing in front of thousands of people. My fans were an addiction of another kind.

The phenomenon of groupies became a factor in Creed’s burgeoning career. How could it not? We were young, single rock stars who had hit the big time. Only Flip, who was with his high school sweetheart and future wife, didn’t get sucked in. We wanted to be wanted.

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