Silent Music by Aisling Magic

Author:Aisling Magic [Magic, Aisling]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Aisling Magic
Published: 2019-09-29T18:30:00+00:00

•••

“How are you, Phoenix?” Sanaa asks as Dad wheels me in the room.

“Good.”

Dad places a hand on my shoulder and presses a kiss on the side of my head. “I’ll be outside, okay?”

I nod, and he leaves the room.

Sanaa takes her place behind the table and holds her pen between her two fingers. “How are your other therapies going?”

“Good,” I reply. They’re getting better. My speech therapy is going better than I thought it would. A month earlier, I couldn’t form words properly. And now I slur most of the time and speak with lots of pauses, but at least I can speak in full sentences.

“Shall we begin?”

I nod.

“First, tell me, how do you feel compared to what you were feeling a month ago?”

I think about her question. “I feel a lot now.”

“A lot how?”

“Sometimes I feel nothing but other times I feel ashamed … afraid … sad … lonely … and so angry. And sometimes I jump from one mood to another. Why?”

She blinks like she was expecting me to ask this question, and she had her answer ready. “Because you’re making progress—earlier you were in shock and denial, and you weren’t feeling things because you were just out of a coma and there were so many changes to get used to. Instead of having all these overwhelm you, your brain denied it. And now you’re starting to accept the changes around, and therefore, you’re experiencing different emotions.”

“Will I feel what I used to feel about everyone I know?”

Her eyes soften, and her lips spread in a tiny smile. “I don’t have the answer to that, Phoenix. I guess we have to see whether there are any changes.”

That wasn’t very helpful, and another dilemma goes into my pile of answerless questions. “I’m s-seeing Kai this Saturday,” I whisper. I have no idea why I’m telling her this, but I do. Maybe because I want to let her know that I’m not moping myself sitting at home.

Her eyebrows jump before settling back. This may be the first reaction that she didn’t orchestrate to have for this session, and her reaction makes me suppress a smile. And maybe feel a little victorious.

“And how do you feel about that?” she asks, leaning on the table.

I shrug. “Maddie sort of … t-talked me into it,” I admit.

Her eyebrows are brought together. “And how do you feel about seeing him again?”

I gulp not wanting to admit the truth, but since I started this conversation, I reply, “I’m s-scared.”

“Scared? Why?” She sounds genuinely perplexed. Are shrinks supposed to show this much reaction to patients?

“Because I think I’ll h-hurt him again,” I admit, shocking myself with my words. Even though I didn’t feel what I used to feel for Kai, I still didn’t like that I hurt him the other day.

“And why’d you agree to go on this date with him? You could have refused even when Madison forced you,” she asks.

I could have, maybe. “Because I owe him.”

“Why?”

“Because … well, I think … because … I once … l-loved him.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.