Silent Grief by Clara Hinton

Author:Clara Hinton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: RELIGION / Chirstian Life / Death, Grief, Bereavement, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Death, Grief, Bereavement
ISBN: 978-1-61458-075-1
Publisher: New Leaf Publishing Group, Inc.
Published: 2011-08-10T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 6

People Care; They Just Don’t Understand

Because of my wounds, my friends and neighbors avoid me, and my relatives stay far away (Ps. 38:11).

There are so very many tragic circumstances that happen in this life, and many times it seems as though our woes fall on deaf ears. It just seems like people do not even care. They may listen while their minds are drifting off in a hundred other directions, and then just give us a blank stare. The message comes through to us loud and clear. “What exactly was that? I didn’t really catch all that you were saying.”

We have all experienced this type of thing, probably from childhood on up through our adult years. A small child falls down, gets hurt, and comes screaming for some consolation. If we are in the mood we may stop what we are doing, scoop the child up into our arms, hug and kiss the hurt, get out the bandaids, and stay with the child until the pain stops. On the other hand, if we’re in the middle of balancing the checkbook, or in the middle of an important telephone call, we may shoo the child away. “Go wash off your cut, you’ll be okay,” is about all we can say. We have all had this done to us; we are all probably guilty of doing this to someone at some time in our lives. Maybe that is the way we handle all problems when we have them.

When I was 18 years old and living away at college, I remember having what I thought to be an urgent problem. I really needed to talk to my dad about this. I wanted to go on a trip to Dallas, and I had to have his signed permission by the weekend. I had tried getting his signed permission through the mail. That did not work. No answer. So I drove home to get him to sign the paper. He was so busy with his own work, meeting this person and that person, that I could not stop him long enough to talk. So finally on Saturday, I went into his place of work and made an appointment with the secretary to see my own father. I waited my turn, and he was somewhat furious with me for embarrassing him like that. I did get my permission paper signed, and I was on my way. It was a good learning lesson for me. He did not understand the importance of meeting the deadline of having the paper signed. He did not understand that I wanted to talk with him. And because he did not understand, he acted as though he did not care.

I have watched parents turn their children away time and time again when they have some exciting news to share, or when they have an upset that they really need to talk about. We seem to be especially good at doing this to our children during their young years when they so willingly want to come share everything with us.

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