Shook One by Charlamagne Tha God

Author:Charlamagne Tha God
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Touchstone

Do You Know What Therapy Looks Like?

I’ve been talking a lot about why you should try therapy, but I want to highlight what an actual session is like. Because therapy is such a private moment, you don’t ever hear too much about how those sixty minutes play out. We’ve seen little glimpses of sessions on shows like The Sopranos, or in movies like Antwone Fisher and Good Will Hunting. But very few people have a real sense of what happens, for the most part because most folks aren’t going to go into much detail about their session. Luckily, I’m not most folks, and I’m pretty comfortable sharing personal things. So this is how it goes for me:

My therapist’s office is in a space she shares with other therapists. There’s a little waiting room I sit in from when I arrive until she comes out to greet me. (Pro tip: You want to arrive for your appointment on time. Therapists rarely let a session go over, so they usually run on schedule. If you show up for an appointment from 3:00–3:45 at 3:15, you’re probably only getting a half hour but will still have to pay for the whole thing.)

Once I get into her room, the setup is warm. That’s the best way to describe it. It’s always dimly lit in a comfortable way. I remove my coat if I have one and sit on her couch to talk. She sits in a recliner about five feet away, facing me. There’s a little glass table with the candies between us. I know there’s the classic image of lying down on your therapist’s couch, but I don’t like talking to people while I’m lying down unless I’m in bed with my wife. Or maybe on a beach chair. Overall, I don’t feel really engaged when I’m lying down. I prefer to look straight at someone and have the conversation face-to-face.

Then we start talking.

She’ll usually start the conversation by asking me how my week was, but generally she doesn’t lead me too much. If I ask her a question she’ll respond, but there are plenty of times I’ll say something and she’ll let my words hang there, without a response. She’s never explained why, but I’ve noticed that when she does that, it forces me to go deeper into whatever subject I’m talking about.

I’ve become comfortable driving the conversation, but if you’re black, it might take some getting used to. Black folks are used to getting a lot of affirmations during their monologues. If you’re black and tell someone, “And then I told him I wasn’t trying to hear that,” the person I’m talking to might say, “Damn straight,” or “I know that’s right . . .” If the person you’re talking to doesn’t say anything, it might actually throw you off. You might think, “Is this person even listening to me?”

In therapy they’re definitely listening, but don’t expect much in the way of feedback or encouragement. Chances are your therapist isn’t going to say, “That’s right,” or “Word,” every time you tell them something.

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