Revolting Youth: The Further Journals of Nick Twisp by C. D. Payne

Author:C. D. Payne [Payne, C. D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-0-7679-3235-6
Publisher: Broadway Books
Published: 2000-03-25T16:00:00+00:00

THURSDAY, April 1 (April Fools’ Day) — I spent an uncomfortable night in the back seat of the Plock II. Dogo got lucky and returned with a fortyish brunette with heavy thighs and a nervous giggle. I found out later from Connie that she was the chaperon for a sorority visiting from Tempe. I dragged my pillow and blanket back to the Plock II and tried not to think about what was happening in the luggage basement. No screaming at least. Oh well, it probably qualifies as safe sex—as long as he washes well beforehand. She was gone before I woke up. In the campground restroom Dogo looked well-rested and pleased with himself.

Every morning to keep in shape Dogo does 50 one-arm pushups. He’s promised to show me some exercises to beef up my physique. I realize I have to alter Rick S. Hunter’s body in some basic way before I dare risk seducing My Love. Since I can’t get any skinnier, my only recourse is to bulk up. The winkie is more problematic. No way I can subject that sensitive part to what my face just went through, even if such operations are a specialty of Dr. Rudolpho and might entail Angel changing my bandages and result in Breathtaking Size. I suppose I’ll have to borrow a page from my old pal Lefty and insist that we keep the lights out.

9:15 a.m. Despite her hangover Connie was bubbling with excitement at breakfast. After I finished the washing up, she dragged me outside for a private conference on the beer can–littered beach.

“Rick, I spoke to our housekeeper Benecia this morning. She says Daddy spent last night in the pool cabana!”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Connie. It could be an April Fools’ Day prank.”

“I’ve been bribing Benecia for years, Rick. She’s completely trustworthy. Besides, she knows better than to cross me. She’s in America illegally.”

“Are you going to tell Paul?”

“Of course not. I can’t risk Lacey becoming what Paulo cannot have. He’ll find out when the time is right. How’s it going with you and Sheeni?”

“Not bad. She thinks I’m the son of Jean-Paul Belmondo.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing. Rick, you’ve got to be a little more aloof. No offense, but whenever you’re around Sheeni your body language screams availability. You’ve got to play it cool and let her come to you.”

“But what if she doesn’t?”

“She will. You’re the only available male we’ve got—except for Dogo.”

“That reminds me, Connie. What do you think of Dogo … as a man?”

“Do you mean would I like to do the ugly on his you know what?”

“Uh, well, yeah.”

“Rick, it’s pretty obvious what guys are all about. Your job is to put it there on the money. But a woman’s sexuality is much more diffused. It’s much more complex.”

“My God, you’ve done it with him.”

“Not me, Rick. Dogo’s like a second daddy to me. But a couple of my girlfriends had a three-way with him once. They really dug his tattoos. Apparently one

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