Reality Bites by Clark Simon & Edwards Janet & Thorpe Gav & Amies Chris & Unsworth Simon Kurt & Palmer Phillip
Author:Clark, Simon & Edwards, Janet & Thorpe, Gav & Amies, Chris & Unsworth, Simon Kurt & Palmer, Phillip
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: KnightWatch Press
Published: 2015-07-30T16:00:00+00:00
Wormwood Chris Amies
"We need an adventure," said Diogenes McCann. We were in McCann's small but comfortable flat on the North End Road, where he had lived for decades. He'd moved there because the area was cheap as chips, but since then it had gentrified around him to the point where people would say "you must be loaded" when he told them where he lived.
He hardly needed to say it. My friend was restless. He needed another expedition, something to take him up to the high peaks or off up a river in Belize like last time. More than that, he needed to make a film.
"Do you not think, young Robin, that it is worth a punt? I was wandering about the north of the Borough the other day and guess what I spotted."
"Someone with a job?" I said. "You get a thousand points for that. More if they have a proper job, one you can name in one word. Doctor. Teacher. Plumber. Not 'recruitment consultant' or 'graphic designer'."
"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" McCann said. "No, I saw Wormwood Hospital. Closed, shuttered and very desolate. Why do you think there are so many mental patients roaming around the Broadway? Because in the nineties they closed Wormwood down. You know the rumours."
"Which rumours?" I said. "They say bad things happened there. Abuse, deaths covered up, that kind of thing. I think it's more than rumours. One day it'll all come out like kicking an anthill. Smoothness over complexity equals horror."
"Ghosts," said McCann. "The damned place is riddled with ghosts, and not surprising given what you've just said. So all we need is the unholy trinity - celebs, booze, and a couple of cameras -and we're on our way."
I was sure he'd left out a stage, but then McCann always had an eye for a film. Dubious pisshead and worse he might be, but he could make a pretty movie.
"We could," he said, "get Channel 4 interested. Or one of the other channels that nobody ever watches because they all have YouPlayer and all that. Then take the thing out of copyright if it's any good, shove it onto the Net and let it go viral. You know people at the Council, don't you? Talk to them and see if we can take Wormwood over for a few days."
"I like that," I said. "I shall start calling in the morning."
Next morning I was up at eight, started work after several coffees, and by the evening I had assembled a cast. They were Z-listers, but they all liked a drink and had an interest in weird stuff. There was Kimberley Fudge, television baker and connoisseur of fine wines. I mostly remembered her for a piece in which she told of having seen her poor dead mum's ghost in the supermarket.
Matthew Pryce, gardening show presenter turned bon vivant and self-declared skeptic. He was determined to be on the show if only to prove that the weird stuff didn't exist.
Felicity Ringmain, married at different times to two different footballers but I couldn't remember which ones.
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