Playing Dane (Florida East University #1) by Hannah Gray

Author:Hannah Gray [Gray, Hannah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B09V25K4LJ
Goodreads: 60568589
Publisher: #PrB.rating#4.38
Published: 2022-05-31T23:00:00+00:00

Layla

I said the words out loud. My own dad had wanted to kill his entire family. He’d hated us that much, and I just said the words out loud for the first time in my life. My grandmother obviously knew; it was her daughter he’d killed. But she never forced me to speak about it. She was my best friend and stepped in as a parent figure. That was, until she got cancer and died when I was sixteen. From there, because there was nobody else left in my family alive—other than my father’s parents, who were estranged anyway and never wanted to meet me—I had to go into foster care. Thankfully, it was for less than two years, and then I came to Brooks.

I told Dane, and it felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Not a burden for speaking the words out loud, like I’d always thought it would be. He’s my person. Which means, at the end of this, I’m going to lose a best friend.

“It’s okay. It happened, and … I can’t change it.” I chew my lip. “But now, I hope you understand why I am the way that I am.” I look at him, begging for understanding. “A leopard doesn’t change its spots. And I can’t change mine either.”

I can tell he doesn’t have a clue what to say. What is he supposed to say? I mean, I just dropped a major bomb on him after he gave me yet another earth-shattering, sock-rocking, mind-blowing orgasm. And how’d I repay him? Here’s my daddy issues. Want to hear about them while we’re bare-ass naked next to this tree? Great!

Sometimes, I question my own sanity.

“You don’t have to let him win, Layla.” He holds my face—something he does often.

He’s always trying to force my eyes on him. He’s that guy who looks in people’s eyes when he talks to them. Me? I avoid long periods of eye contact.

“I understand why you do. And why you’re so hell-bent on rules and not getting attached.” He looks sad. “I understand it so fucking much. Because I’ve had the pain of loss myself. And it’s easy to bask in it and let it dictate each and every move.” His words soothe me. The opposite of what I expected to feel when unleashing this secret. “But … you don’t deserve the life you’ve convinced yourself to settle for.” His thumb grazes my bottom lip affectionately. “There’s a whole world out there, waiting for you. You just have to let yourself have it.” Putting our faces closer, he dips his head down. “And I hope, one day, you’ll see me in that world too.”

“I don’t know what I see,” I admit. “But I know I’m not ready to let you go. Not just yet.”

It’s not fair of me to keep this beautiful-souled person from the rest of the world. It’s selfish of me to keep him all to myself if I don’t plan on promising him forever. But losing him isn’t a thought I’ll even let myself think about right now.

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