Once We Were There by Bernice Chauly

Author:Bernice Chauly
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-981-47-8517-4
Publisher: Epigram Books
Published: 2019-01-28T16:00:00+00:00

Four

Alba

“Alba. Alba.”

Omar breathed in her name again. Alba.

“My daughter,” he said.

She was fast asleep, her eyes shut, her tiny fists in tight little balls. They had just come home to their apartment, and in the sanctity of their home, he could finally breathe, and reflect on the single most profound moment of his life. His mother filled the fridge with food before she left and the sickly sweet smell of flowers overpowered the apartment. He sat on the couch and gazed at her, asleep in his arms.

She was so small. He cradled her gently in the crook of his left arm, not wanting to wake her, and he let his eyes rest on the miracle that was his daughter. Her head of dark brown hair, her fair skin still flushed from the birth. The midwife had exclaimed at how much hair she had when she crowned.

Alba, swaddled tightly in a light cream blanket, her rosebud lips, her eyelashes long and curled upward, her cheeks pink. How beautiful and perfect she was. Ten fingers and toes, all there.

Omar was stunned, wordless. Nothing had prepared him for this moment. No one had told him that this love would be like a kick in the balls, in the gut. He had never imagined a moment like this was even possible. This was the kind of love that drove men to fists, to blood, to bitter court battles, to the ends of the earth and back.

She yawned suddenly, her tiny mouth opening and closing in minute perfection. His heart leaped with joy, then pain. He felt confusion, then wonder. How could she yawn and then go straight back to sleep? He then remembered the pain that he had felt when Del had the miscarriage. He remembered the despair, the loss of hope.

This was a gift from the gods. His prayers had been answered. He wanted Del to be happy again, but he had underestimated his own emotions. Everything he had done in his life had led him to this moment. All the achievements, all the mistakes, his fuckups, his misanthropic moments, his personal battles, his doubts, all the women he’d fucked and not fucked—everything had led him to this. All roads had led him to Alba. This glorious, magical moment where he held his daughter in his hands.

He wanted to weep, but instead made a silent vow. He would love and protect her and be the best father to her, he would raise her to be a good and righteous person in society. And then he remembered what his father had said to him: “Whisper the Shahadah in her ear when she is born.” Omar leaned over and whispered:

Ashadu allah illa ha illalah

Muhammad ar Rasul lullah

Baby girl, come to god

Baby girl, my baby girl

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