Of Peace and Precipitation by Aaron J. Gourlie

Author:Aaron J. Gourlie [Gourlie, Aaron J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781666711004
Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers
Published: 2021-10-07T20:15:37+00:00

Chapter 12

Sometimes melancholy has a smell. To Jen, it smelled like cheap men’s aftershave. An old country farmer at the grocery store wearing a red flannel brought the fragrance of memories and quickly became victim to Jen’s disapproving glare. The man appeared puzzled, snapping Jen back to the present. The man she really wanted to glare at was John Morris. Johnny, as he was known to those who were close to him, was Jen’s father. Jen had only interacted with her father for three brief periods in her life.

The first period, which Jen remembered the least, stretched across the first six months of her life. Jen remembered this period of her life secondhand, through stories she’d heard from her Aunt Julie and Lana and from piecing different photographs together.

According to Lana, Johnny loved Jen so much he felt he’d best help his family by moving out West to make money. They didn’t have much back then. Jen once overheard Aunt Julie tell their neighbor that Johnny was a womanizer. Despite being married to Lana for just over a year, he couldn’t handle her. He convinced Lana he was leaving “for the good of the family,” and that he would “send money as soon as he made his fortune.” Aunt Julie made the last two statements with air quotes, rolled eyes, and shakes of her head, unaware Jen was listening, peeking through the crack of a slightly open door.

The only other memento from this time was a photo of Johnny holding her as an infant. Sitting on an old beige couch with yellow and brown plaid couch cushions, he had slicked back hair, a white tank top style undershirt and blue jeans with holes in them. Johnny gave a half smile to the photographer. It made her wonder if there was a part of her dad that did like being a dad. Was there a part of him that did like her? Or was the smile a mirage, like the idea of having a father in one’s life.

The second period of Johnny in Jen’s life was when she was about four. Despite Jen being so young, Jen remembered the happiness. She remembered the laughs of her young mom, the smiles coming from two sets of mouths, not just one. She remembered her dad tossing her up in the air and catching her with strong arms. Aunt Julie even got a picture of Jen falling mid-air from a toss still two inches from her dad’s arms, hair still flowing in the wind. The smile on Jen’s face was so wide that her little face barely contained it. Their family was complete. Johnny had even brought money when he returned. He brought $700 with him. It was not really that much money back then, and it certainly wasn’t that much money considering it took Johnny three years to earn it. It was, however, a lot of money to Lana who was very proud of Johnny.

Besides the happiness, the other thing Jen remembered vividly were her tears.

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