Not That I Brag by Beryl Kingston

Author:Beryl Kingston [Kingston, Beryl]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-07-25T04:00:00+00:00

The yuppies are back. The eating room is full of them all barking and baying in those loud voices of theirs and moving the chairs about, which is so unnecessary. When me and Kitty arrived, poor old Leamington Spa was sitting all squashed up in a corner and she only had one other chair at her table. I jumped up and sat in it at once before they could move that. You have to be firm when you’re dealing with Yuppies.

Leamington Spa gave me one of her nice smiles. ‘Hello Cat,’ she said. ‘Who’s your friend?’

Kitty was sitting on the floor where I’d left her, looking up at us, sort of hopefully, and there was a huge pair of feet just behind her, heading straight towards her. The potato boy. Wouldn’t you know it?

‘Mind the little cat,’ Leamington Spa said, smiling at him.

‘That’s Kitty,’ he told her. ‘Issen she a cutie? We been playing with her all morning.’

‘She’ll get trampled on if she sits down there,’ Leamington Spa said. ‘I’ve never seen the place so crowded. Could you pick her up, do you think, and put her on the chair next to my Cat? She’ll be safe with him, won’t she Cat.’

I gave her my loving smile to show her how intelligent she was being and while I was doing it the potato boy picked Kitty up by the scruff of her neck and dumped her down beside me. She looked a bit surprised, poor little thing, so I narrowed my eyes and gave him my disapproving look. He doesn’t have to be so rough with her. She’s only a kitten.

‘Now then,’ he said, taking his pencil from behind his ear. ‘Roast of the day was it?’

I was really quite relieved when he walked away. He’s such an oaf.

‘Now I’ve got two cats to keep me company,’ Leamington Spa said, smiling at me. ‘I can’t think of anything nicer.’

I gave her my prettiest smile, naturally, because it’s gratifying to be appreciated, but I was actually wondering how long it would be before the potato boy brought our food. I’ll bet it takes him ages and it’s tantalising to smell all the tasty things other people are poking into their mouths in that inelegant way of theirs when you’re waiting forever for something to be brought to your table. Especially when you’re starving. Of course, we cats are extremely patient. Patience is part of our nature and I’m probably the most patient cat alive. But there are limits. Kitty’s no good at it at all. She can’t wait a second. She started clawing the tablecloth and trying to climb up onto the table as soon as the potato boy put her on the chair. I dabbed her with my paw to remind her how to behave but she took no notice and, in the end, she fell, just as I knew she would, backwards off the edge of the table onto the carpet. She made a good landing, I’ll say that for her, but poor old Leamington Spa was really upset.

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