My Worst Date by David Leddick

Author:David Leddick
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: White Lake Press

hugo sees magenta

The next time I went to Glenn’s apartment I really had something to think about. The magenta lipstick I found in his bathroom. You wonder if it’s your mother’s and you open it and you see it’s magenta. A color she never wears. And your little mind goes click, click, click. And out comes Estelle. Our little office secretary. This is really boring.

A couple of weeks ago when I ran past the office to do a little cleaning and Mom was out, Estelle cornered me. She said, “You know that Mr. Paul your mother is going out with?”

“Yes, Estelle, I do know Mr. Paul. We call him Glenn.” I wondered if she was going to ask me if I was going out with him, too. I wouldn’t put it past her. She is very smart, our Estelle. You can count on her to notice everything.

“Mr. Paul is trying to get me to see him.”

“So,” I said.

“I don’t think that is very, should I say, correct.”

“Well, he’s not married to Mom. I don’t suppose there’s any law against him going out with more than one person.” That certainly was true. And I could swear to it.

“Even so, I wouldn’t like it if the situation were reversed. If I was the boss and your mom was my secretary, I would not like it at all if my boyfriend was coming on to her.”

“I can understand that,” I said, “but I’m not going to discuss this with Mom. This is the sort of thing that has to sort itself out.” I’m so, so wise. I must have seen all this stuff on daytime TV. “You have to decide this for yourself, Estelle.” Is there anybody in this town he doesn’t want to fuck?

“Well, I’ve been telling him no. Besides, he’s not Hispanic, you know.”

“Well, gee, Estelle, you wouldn’t hold that against him, would you? You must have gone out with someone who wasn’t Hispanic before.”

“Once. I didn’t like it.”

“Was he as cute as Glenn Paul?” I can really be a bitch when I want to be.

“No.” She was getting ready to drop the subject. She went back to her desk. Estelle is very pretty and she was looking particularly pretty in a new magenta blouse. She had bought lipstick that matched it exactly. Her hair was kind of piled up on top of her head false carelessly. Her nail enamel didn’t match exactly. You had to give her that, she’s not a floozy.

“This is between Mr. Paul and you, Estelle. If you think he’s cute, go for it. Of course, if you do, and I ever find out about it, I’m going to hate you both forever.” She looked up at me to see if I was kidding. I wasn’t sure if I was or not and I thought I’d just let her think about it.

And here I was leaving that shithead’s apartment with her magenta lipstick in my pocket. Nothing is by chance. Even if she didn’t mean to, that lipstick was left behind for somebody to stumble upon.

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