My Mother's House: A Novel by Francesca Momplaisir

Author:Francesca Momplaisir [Momplaisir, Francesca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780525657156
Amazon: 0525657150
Publisher: Knopf
Published: 2020-05-11T23:00:00+00:00

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SOL STARED into the darkness with the imagined sky in her eyes. “I am not Zero!” she shouted, startling Chiqui, Cocoa, Asante, but mostly My. Thinking of him had always made her nervous, but she’d tried not to show her fear to the others. Instead, she’d crawl inward to remind herself who she was. She needed to after incalculable years in the safe room. Time was hard to determine.

I am One. I am here where the sky is not. I am not hungry. I will not break. Not for food. Not for anything he has to offer. I am rage. Biting, kicking. I am not lying down. I am not quiet. I will kill. Myself after I kill him. I am not darkness. I am inside of it. This is another box with sixteen wheels. I am riding. Far, far with Cara. Chiqui is still inside. We are still inside Mexico. Far from where Cara wants to be. I won’t break. I won’t be like Zero. I won’t bend over or open. Mouth, legs, eyes. I stop seeing everything. Red sky, colored carnations, green keneps, white buckets, metal cart, highway, and planes. I stop hearing too. But I refuse to be Zero. In the box I make myself everything he hates. I shave my head. I refuse to wash. I do not eat. I scream.

And then I stop. No more kicking, biting, screaming. He brings Chiqui as a gift for me. So I stop.

I become everything he wants. I am smiling, sucking, riding. So he won’t hurt her. I beg, “Put my gift back where you found her!” Better wherever Cara is than here.

I am knowing that we will go from here. But when we leave, will I disappear into Zero? Will I be One? My self? Or him?

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