Maybe I Don't Belong Here by David Harewood

Author:David Harewood
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan UK

Chapter Nine

The Ward

Waking up in a mental institution is a strange and bizarre experience made only slightly more bearable by the drugs administered the night before arrival. It’s an odd sensation to come round on a mental ward – in this case the Hollymoor Psychiatric Hospital in Birmingham – and not recognise your own body. It took a while for my hands, feet and legs to understand that they were attached to my body. I just lay there for an hour trying to make sense of what was going on. I knew I was awake and alive, but that was as far as I could make out. I repeatedly wriggled my fingers and toes to be sure they hadn’t been removed. Once I was 100 per cent certain that all of me seemed present and correct, I turned my attention to opening my eyes. My eyelids felt like forty-pound kettle bells and they absolutely refused to stay open. After a minute or two, they settled into a thousand-yard stare as my brain tried its best to focus and understand what all these people were doing in my fucking bedroom.

Slowly it started to come together, and I realised I was on the locked ward of a psychiatric hospital. Certainly not the best start to the day for sure and the realisation hit hard. As my eyes began to focus, it was the decor that they settled on first. The crusty walls, the bedding and the parquet flooring came in for particular scrutiny as I cast a disapproving glance at my surroundings.

When did I decide to move in here? Oh, that’s right. This was my second trip into a mental institution.

I’ve been sectioned TWICE!

I must be pretty good at this.

My sense of smell was last to wake up and, eventually, I noticed the distinct smell of piss coming from the bed next to me. I turned my head slowly and caught a glimpse of the mouth-breather in the adjacent bed who hadn’t woken up yet. I gazed at him for what seemed like an eternity, trying to figure out how the hell I had ended up in a bed next to this guy.

I was sure I was an actor before this. I was absolutely sure of it!

I studied at a really good drama school, had lots of mates and laughed a lot.

What the fuck had happened?

My disdain for the environment intensified. The dodgy art on the walls, the fixtures and fittings – everything looked grim. I wished to God I was still asleep and, indeed, soon enough I was.

I was awake again. Sunlight creeping through the drab curtains and more noise and movement now. Patients were starting to wander about murmuring, and I could see breezy nurses prepping trolleys full of bottles and pills in the corner of the room. No, this is no time for sleep. I need to get my arse out of bed. I noticed the mouth-breather in the bed next to me had gone, he was already up

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