Lovely in Red by Odessa Hywell

Author:Odessa Hywell [Hywell, Odessa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-05-12T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Fourteen

CALIX

Everything’s moving so fast, a tornado of feelings and events, since Atticus and I decided to get lunch together yesterday afternoon. I don’t know how to slow us down or even if I want to.

Aside from a few minor—okay, not so minor; I’m not that naive—red flags, Atticus is a decent guy, where I’m concerned, who seems to genuinely care about me and my wellbeing. He accepts me just as I am—messy camboy with a complicated family—and that’s addictive, like crack, for the neglected child who still lives inside of me, seeking approval from anyone willingly to give it. So why do I feel so . . . disoriented?

Because none of this is normal?

What is “normal”?

Atticus says there is no such thing as normal. One person’s hell is another person’s heaven, right? And being with him has been heaven so far.

Atticus was nothing but considerate last night. If I hadn’t pushed the issue we probably wouldn’t have had anal sex at all. He made me breakfast the morning after and walked me home. And sure, discovering my identity with soiled panties, moving a stone’s throw from my front door, breaking into my house to watch me sleep, stealing my login information so he could track my location, doing my laundry and buying my groceries, behind my back, and without my permission, is abnormal behavior but otherwise . . . kind of harmless.

Fuck. I’m curled up in my stalker’s lap, trying to justify his craziness, and it’s not that hard—he’s never hurt me, and he’s had plenty of opportunities. He actually protected me in a roundabout way by assaulting a guy who grabbed me on the street. Some might even consider his behavior downright helpful. Maybe even sweet. Who actually enjoys doing their own laundry and grocery shopping?

Still, it’s a lot to come to terms with in a short amount of time. One day TheWolf was just a kinky stranger online who paid me to get off. And now . . .

How did we get here?

I rub my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Atticus combs his fingers through my hair, scratching at my scalp. It honestly feels lovely. Tension bleeds from my shoulders as I bury my face in his neck.

I could have asked him to go, give me some time to think in peace. I have no doubt he would have, even if he only went as far as the lobby. But even though my head is a mess as I try to arrange my thoughts and feelings, I want Atticus here.

Does it really matter how we got here, just that we are?

He cups the nape of my neck with the hand not bracing my back and presses his face into my hair. His warm breath cascades down my cheek as he exhales. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Is there? Like what? This feels like a problem I need to sort out myself.

“I think you’ve been helpful enough.” Any more help and he’s going to be paying my rent.

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