Love, Unscripted by Owen Nicholls

Author:Owen Nicholls
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2020-02-10T16:00:00+00:00

It takes me until my final shift to Google Ellie’s new job. It’s an amazing opportunity and I feel another wave of self-hatred that I prevented her from enjoying it fully. I think about calling her to say sorry, to wish her well and let her know how excited I am for her.

I can’t ask her to stay for me. I knew that before, but it’s made concrete now, seeing the offices, the reputation the company has, the huge break this is.

Because the digital switchover has been so seamless and everything’s now automated, there’s nothing for me to do. I pick up where I left the last shift, searching for jobs, typing the word “film” into Indeed.com, and being mortified by the results.

A receptionist role at a small UK independent film company raises my hopes before dashing them on the rocks with the deadly phrase “must have similar experience.” If Ellie were by my side, she’d be imploring me to go for the internships and runners’ jobs, telling me I have to start somewhere and that she’ll support me. She’d be telling me to start writing again. To send off short screenplays to local directors. To send features to screenwriting competitions. Get something out there. Even if it’s just to get feedback.

But I hate feedback. Unless it’s positive affirmation, and I’ve been in short supply of that for some time now.

The monitor tells me there’s thirty minutes left on the last film.

Thirty minutes left on my life as a projectionist.

I’m still battling with my decision to jump before I was pushed.

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