Love and Ruin by Paula McLain

Author:Paula McLain
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2018-05-01T04:00:00+00:00

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As the evening drew to a close, I felt a sense of accomplishment. It seemed as though Ernest was going to win over my mother without even trying. And she’d asked about the boys. That was a good sign, too. Someday, if all went as planned, they’d be her grandchildren. She should be interested, I thought, letting myself be hopeful, just a little, that this would all work out in my favor, and soon.

The next morning, I helped Ernest load the car, which was already chock-full of rods and reels and all kinds of tackle, plus rifles, and sleeping rolls and canteens. Over his shoulder, the morning sun was fat and bright as a tangerine.

“Just get in,” he said. “We’ll figure things out when we get there.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

He leaned against the side of the Buick and I pressed into him, draping my arms around his neck. The sun shone down on us, warming the tops of our heads. From the treetops, cicadas rattled their song, which was about the end of summer, and about us, too, it seemed. Maybe the neighbors were watching. Maybe my mother was standing at the window waiting for me. I only wanted to stand in this spot for as long as possible, to hold time still.

“If you get lonely, you know where to find me,” he said.

“I’m already lonely.”

“I don’t want to be without you. We’re going to have to do something about that.”

“We are. I love you something awful, you know?”

“Good.”

He kissed me for a long time, while I felt uncertainty pulse between us, and happiness, too, at having found each other. The two hovered in a balance, difficult but true. Finally, there was nothing to do but let him go.

He climbed behind the wheel of the Buick, nudging over his tackle box and favorite rod. I kissed him one last time through the open window and watched him pull away, passing under all the bowed trees along the street, growing smaller and gauzier and fainter, until he wasn’t there at all. Even then, I stood still a few moments longer, while my heart stretched after him, out across the spaces between us.

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