Lost Boi by Sassafras Lowrey

Author:Sassafras Lowrey [Lowrey, Sassafras]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781551525822
Publisher: Arsenal Pulp Press

9

The Apology

When Pan saw Gator leave the Lagoon, he went back to the house, passing Kelpie and Siren, who were on the porch couch smoking with some femmes from New Orleans. Pan nodded at the group and began to search for Hook, whose crew was hanging out in the living room. Smee looked up when Pan came in, but gave no clue as to where his Captain was. Pan searched through all the basement and first-floor rooms, where folks were drowning and fucking and making out. When he went upstairs, he saw that the door to the widow’s walk was ajar. Hook didn’t need to turn around when Pan came outside; he recognized the sound of the boi’s boots against the rotten decking. Hook stared up at the stars. He was not drowning. Pan stood next to him, trying to get Hook to look at him, but Hook wouldn’t acknowledge him. Pan sighed. “You aren’t still pissed about earlier, are you?” Pan asked, playfully grabbing one of the Captain’s belt loops. “You know I think of you as more than your codpiece.” Hook refused to respond. “Oh, come on, Hook! Don’t be mad at me! I was just messing around, I didn’t mean any harm by it. Can’t we just let it go? Let’s start this night over.”

Finally, Hook—still looking at the sky—said, “You owe me nothing short of a formal apology for the way you acted tonight.”

Pan did not roll his eyes. He straightened his shirt the way Mommy had taught him, wiped his grimy hands on the back of his jeans and, when he was convinced his hands were clean, extended his right one toward Hook.

“Captain Hook, please accept my apology. I acted out of turn this evening, disrespecting you in front of your crew. I let my joking go too far. I am truly sorry, and I am here to ask for your forgiveness.”

Hook pulled his eyes away from the stars and turned toward Pan. “Look at you. Little boi, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a grownup standing before me. I hear that you’re a Daddy now. Looks like that grrrl figured out how to make a man of you, and you like it, don’t you? You like being her husband? Being a grownup?” And then Hook spat right on Pan’s outstretched hand.

Pan winced. They were fierce battle opponents, but Hook had never been cruel to him before. Closing his eyes for a moment, Pan took a deep breath, wiped Hook’s spit off on the back of his jeans, and smiled. Pan is different from all us other bois in that he doesn’t hold onto the hurtful, unfair things in the world. Just as a boi who grows up and leaves Neverland is immediately forgotten by Pan, so are hurts. Pan smiled at Hook, and again extended his hand.

Hook was disgusted—with himself and with Pan. This filthy boi, leader of a gang of hoodlums, had exhibited better form than he had, the Captain whose workshops on protocol people paid money to attend.

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