Little Panic by Amanda Stern

Author:Amanda Stern
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2018-05-14T16:00:00+00:00

While island time slows things down, the month seems to speed past. One afternoon we make a picnic lunch and take it to one of the island’s preserves. Through dense woods, the two of them scramble up the path, much faster than me, and I can’t help but notice that Javier, having promised to take care of me on this trip, doesn’t look back to make sure that the branches and brambles haven’t locked his city girlfriend in a half nelson. I follow them out across slabs of granite to the flat surface where we eat and look out onto the bay. Frankie goes to collect rocks, and Javier and I sit quietly. I can’t tell if this is his normal station, or if he’s just being inordinately quiet. Though we’ve been dating for eight months, we haven’t spent enough time together for me to even know. I get up and walk out onto the rocks by myself to see how far I can get just jumping. I’m pretty far out onto the bay and I turn to wave at Javier, but he’s not looking at me. Even when I’m in his sight, I feel out of his mind.

Being here is worth it, though, since Frankie pops her head into my office every day after school. As soon as I’m ready she grabs her sword and we go for girls-only walks, where, in between times of her pretending she’s a ninja, she confides in me things she doesn’t reveal to her parents.

“That’s my dad’s house,” she says, pointing her sword at a large, rambling white house. “People rent it from him during the year and we use it during the summer. I don’t have my own bedroom, though.”

“You don’t? Why not?”

“I have to share with my cousins. But it’s still my house, right? Don’t you think I should have my own room?” she asks.

I know better than most people how important it is to have a bedroom at your dad’s house. But I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, and I certainly don’t want Frankie racing back to either Meredith or Javier and telling them I was criticizing their parenting. While I’m the least diplomatic person on earth, Frankie has brought out in me a different, more measured person—when I’m with her, I feel like I know what I’m doing, like a real adult.

“You know, I think it’s hard for people whose parents never divorced to become divorced parents themselves. They don’t know what it feels like to be the kid shuttling between two places, so they don’t quite understand what matters and what doesn’t. That’s why you have to tell them what matters.”

“I have told him, but he doesn’t get it. He says we’re only there for the summer, so what do I care?”

“Could your mom talk to him about it?” I ask.

“I’ve asked, but she always forgets!” Frankie runs toward an abandoned house. There’s a bicycle on the roof, which makes her laugh, and we try to see through the windows.

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