Listen to the Squawking Chicken: When Mother Knows Best, What's a Daughter To Do? A Memoir (Sort Of) by Elaine Lui

Author:Elaine Lui [Lui, Elaine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2014-04-21T22:00:00+00:00

But the Feng Shui Blackmail of hot water, eye drops, and daily fruit is nothing compared to the Feng Shui Blackmail restrictions of house hunting. The home is the center of people’s lives. Feng shui guidelines in home selection and home interiors are very specific. You see this in the Western real estate market—the industry is becoming more and more savvy as the Chinese continue to invest in properties around the world.

Eight is the luckiest number in Chinese numerology. It’s that pronunciation thing again. Baht is how you said the word for “eight” in Cantonese. It rhymes with faht, the word for “rich.” So an eight is synonymous with getting rich, getting lucky. This is why real estate agents often end their list prices with the number eight. This is why Chinese people often send back their counteroffers with amounts that include at least one eight. If a house is listed at $299,400, a prospective Chinese buyer might send back a counter of $299,388. You see what I did there? Four is normally regarded as an unlucky number. It’s been replaced here with a couple of eights.

This is just a generalization though. As it is with the fruit, we all have our own lucky numbers. A couple of years ago, Jacek started seeing fours all over the place. He’d look at the clock, it was 4:44. He’d buy something, it would amount to $14.44. Or $24.44. He was freaking out. So much so that he asked Ma whether or not he was in for it. She assured him that it would be okay. That the fours that were surrounding him were protecting him. That he was one of those rare people for whom fours were lucky. After all, he was born on April first, the first day of the fourth month. Me, I don’t have a super-lucky number like Jacek. But I do have a very unlucky one. It is five. I generally avoid fives.

Chinese numerology became a big deal for us when we were looking for a home. We had sold our small apartment on West 4th Avenue (see? Jacek is drawn to fours) in Vancouver in the early part of 2008. We decided to rent while we took our time waiting for the perfect place to come up. A couple months later, we had our hearts set on a town house by the beach. It was ideal. But we had to consult with the Squawking Chicken first about the offer “number.” She recommended an amount slightly under asking, with a complicated series of numbers that added up to something we didn’t understand. And she would not move from that amount. We tried telling her that the market was so competitive that there was no way we would get it with that amount. Very calmly, she assured us that if we didn’t get it, it wasn’t ours to begin with.

Jacek was becoming frustrated. He was really into this house. He felt handcuffed by her “crazy” Feng Shui Blackmail. But as much as I wanted my husband to be happy, I also wanted to protect our happiness.

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