Life As I Blow It by Sarah Colonna

Author:Sarah Colonna [Colonna, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
ISBN: 978-0-345-52838-4
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2012-02-06T16:00:00+00:00

HELL CAT

After several months of living in Los Angeles, I started to realize that I wasn’t doing much to get my career going. I hadn’t moved to L.A. to waitress, but the only productive thing I’d done outside of that was take a bad acting class. That wasn’t going anywhere, since most of the time all the teacher had us do was sit in a chair in the middle of the room and conjure up emotions, which is what I already did at home.

Some of the waiters I worked with told me that I should take an improv class. They said it would come in handy for thinking on my feet during auditions. I nodded my head in agreement even though I had never been on an actual audition.

I flipped through the free weekly paper and found a cheap improv class in Sherman Oaks. I was nervous the first night, but it was just introductory. We all went around and said a little bit about ourselves in an attempt to get to know one another. There were a couple of people who stood out to me as someone I’d want to hang out with: a guy named Neil and a girl named Chelsea.

Chelsea seemed like fun and she quickly confirmed that she was. We had similar sensibilities and a similar affection for cocktails. Neil, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. He didn’t drink at all. In fact, he told me he had never had a drink in his life.

“Never even a sip?” I challenged him.

“Never even a sip,” he responded. “Why doesn’t anyone ever believe me?”

“Because it just sounds so … so … dumb,” I said.

“I guess that’s what people think. But alcohol just doesn’t interest me.”

“Do you have a hard time getting along with people who drink?” He was cute, so I needed to know the answer to that question right away.

“Not at all. But usually people who like to drink have a hard time accepting that I don’t.”

“Well, that sounds really immature. How sad for them.” Inside, I feared I might agree with “them.”

But I figured his not drinking shouldn’t be a big deal to me if my excessive drinking wasn’t going to be a big deal to him. He also drove any time that we went out, which was kind of awesome.

Neil was new to town, via Florida. He told me that he had once performed for a week in Australia, so I felt like he had already made it in show business. Chelsea had also recently moved to L.A., so it felt good to have new friends who were trying to figure it out like I was.

The class itself was really stupid. Although I very much appreciate and respect people who are good at improv, I dislike doing it. That’s probably because I suck at it. I can think on my feet; I just find the “games” annoying. Maybe that’s why I always knew what I wanted to do. In acting, things are written for you.

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