Life as a Casketeer by Francis Tipene

Author:Francis Tipene
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2020-01-11T16:00:00+00:00

Everyone got the opportunity to do what they wanted. No one was restricted as to what they could express, and no one had to rush because there was another funeral due.

I find the memory of this night hard to deal with, but at the time I was so focused on doing everything Luke and his family needed that I wasn’t thinking about anything like that. I knew how many people were waiting and how desperately his mum and the extended whānau wanted to see him, so the mahi was easy. He was in my physical care so I was responsible for him.

People say to me: ‘It must have been so terrible.’ No – it’s terrible now.

Once we were at the embalmers, it was straight down to work. I hadn’t really stopped since that first phone call from my uncle. I stayed for the whole process. Rikki Solomon, the embalmer, and his whānau were there too and they were so considerate and helpful. They guided me through my part in the embalming.

There were some bad lacerations to Luke’s face that needed make-up to disguise them. He was a good-looking young guy and he knew it, so I knew he would appreciate anything that made him look better. I even had a giggle about that at the time because I knew what he would be thinking.

Once the preparation and embalming were finished, we put him in the car and shot over to our Henderson funeral home and there were his mum, his sisters, our immediate whānau, his school whānau. It was all happening. The Henderson branch is small and everywhere you went you could hear the crying and feel the grief.

Laments rang out: ‘We shouldn’t be here. We shouldn’t be here . . . Why didn’t you listen to me? . . . I told you I’d come and get you.’

It was raw grief like I had never heard before.

TERRY CHOSE a beautiful casket with Māori carving designs. They started to dress him then, and by now it was getting pretty late. Everything so far had happened without a break, but even now I didn’t try to speed things up. I just let them be.

It could have been exhausting being the person making everything happen, but having a job to do meant I didn’t get overwhelmed by my feelings. It’s much better to be doing something useful than just standing around waiting.

Eventually, that part was done and Luke was able to go home with his mother for the night. We asked everyone else to leave the house to the immediate family so they could have time together. And everyone respected those wishes.

But the next day, when we took him to the Glenora Bears clubrooms at Glen Eden, the sea of people that had assembled there was mind-blowing. And it was a powerful atmosphere because people’s grief at the loss of their loved one and teammate was combined with anger and frustration over how he had died.

I could hear it as Luke was walked in.

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