Larry and Stretch 13 by Marshall Grover

Author:Marshall Grover
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: winchester rifle, colt 45, piccadilly publishing, american frontier fiction, best westwestern ebook, larry and stretch western series, leonard mears western writer
Publisher: Piccadilly

Six

The Natural Suspects

The medical officer delivered his warning in blunt language.

“Without the patient’s cooperation, high blood pressure is hard to beat. I must emphasize, Colonel, that you have to help yourself, learn to control your temper, practice patience at all times ...”

“Patience be damned!” snorted Stone.

“A trigger-temper,” shrugged Vaughan, “and high blood pressure—that’s a bad combination, Colonel.”

“I’ll have you know,” retorted Stone, “that I am the most even-tempered commanding officer the Ninth has ever known.”

He has to be joking, Vaughan thought to himself. No. Damn the old firebrand, he really means it! Aloud, he said, “The only alternative would be a sedative, something to keep you in a relaxed condition.”

“Pills and potions,” sneered the colonel.

“In your case,” said Vaughan, “I wouldn’t recommend sedation. Constant use of the medication would induce a state—uh—similar to that caused by alcoholism.”

“Well,” said Stone, as tartly as he knew how, “we could hardly have that, could we, my dear Major?”

“Hardly,” frowned Vaughan. “So I can only advise that you make the attempt to ...”

“To be calm at all times,” jeered Stone. “To control my temper. Come, Major. No need to mince words.”

“There’s nothing more I can say,” muttered Vaughan, as he replaced his instruments in his bag. “The rest, Colonel, is up to you.”

“How can I remain in a state of good humor, serene and unruffled,” wondered Stone, “with all that infernal racket outside? What the devil is happening out there, anyway?”

“I have no idea,” said Vaughan.

He stepped aside hastily to avoid being jostled by the four men barging into the tent. First came the orderly officer, Captain Kerwin, as urbane as ever and, if Vaughan’s hunch was correct, doing his utmost not to burst into laughter. Next came Boyle and the scrawny corporal, still clad in their red underwear. Sheriff Upshaw brought up the rear. Doggedly, self-righteously, he began addressing the bug-eyed colonel.

“I’ve been wearin’ this badge many a long year, Colonel, and I’m a fair-minded man. Don’t mind closin’ my eyes to some of the ructions your soldiers have caused in Bosworth. I reckon every trooper hankers to get drunk once in a while and let off a little steam. But, doggone it, this is too much! We got decent women in Bosworth. How would you feel, if your wife was walking along—mindin’ her own business—and suddenly got an eyeful of a couple growed men in their longjohns—a’prancin’ and a’cussin’ and a’roarin’ up a storm ...?”

“If I may be permitted to …” began Kerwin.

“Silence!” repeated Stone, at the top of his voice.

“I must remind you,” frowned Vaughan. “Your blood pressure ...”

“Plague take my blood pressure!” stormed Stone. “What is the meaning of this outrage? Sergeant Boyle! Corporal Cusack! You are regimentally undressed—worse than regimentally undressed!”

“This lame-brained badge-toter,” complained Boyle, “didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“I’ll give you that chance—you incompetent, bungling jackass!” roared Stone. “And, by thunder, your explanation had better be convincing—or you’ll find yourself confined to the stockade—indefinitely! Indefinitely, I say!”

“It’s this way, Colonel, sir,” explained Boyle. “Me and Corporal Cusack went to this here bathhouse .

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