It's Not Just Who You Know by Tommy Spaulding

Author:Tommy Spaulding [Spaulding, Tommy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-58915-6
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2010-06-15T16:00:00+00:00

* Inside Trump Tower, Issue 14: http://www.trumpuniversity.com/mynetwork/inside-trump-tower/issue14.cfm

Chapter 19

Beyond Networking

The real answer to Tina Turner’s question—What’s love got to do with it?—is quite simple: everything.

Most of us are OK with the idea that we love our family and friends. Yet we spend at least as much time at work as we do with family and friends. Why wouldn’t we love the people in that circle of our lives as well? Why would we segment the most powerful emotion in the universe out of the part of our lives where we commit so much of our time, resources, and energy?

So if business is personal and love is the most important part of building meaningful relationships in business, then what does it take within us to make business personal? What does it take to make love part of who we are professionally? What does it take to embrace netgiving, and make networking a by-product of who we are, not a function of what we do? What does it take to move beyond transactional relationships? What does it take to put others first and trust that our needs won’t go unmet? What does it take to become selfless rather than selfish?

What does it take to give relationships significance on the First, Second, and Third floors, and to move them to the Fourth Floor or all the way to the Penthouse?

To answer those critical questions, we have to go beyond networking, because networking, by itself, involves nothing more than self-serving manipulative skills and techniques to get people to like us. The good news is that going beyond networking is something anyone can learn. It’s not just for the select few extroverts who are born with certain qualities or gifts.

But here’s the rub: It’s a choice.

Before any of us can really advance when it comes to building deep, meaningful relationships, we first must make a choice to love others—in business as well as in our personal lives. That means we put the needs of others ahead of our own. It means we’re willing to sacrifice. It means our decision-making process starts with “How can I help?” not “What can I get?” It means our litmus test must be to strive for significance, not just success.

If we don’t first make that choice, then everything we do when it comes to building relationships ultimately will fail.

Simply stated, we have to be authentic.

Authenticity is the one of the keys to successfully building genuine relationships. The other keys are humility, empathy, confidentiality, vulnerability, curiosity, generosity, humor, and gratitude. These are the traits that touch upon “who you are,” and they are the things that give meaning and purpose to what you do. They will give meaning and power to all of your relationships. In fact, you can’t take a relationship to the Penthouse without them.

Focusing on who we are requires a certain level of self-awareness. For instance, I’m a hugger. When I meet people, even people I haven’t known very long, I often give them a hug. It’s who I am.

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