It's Just Begun by Ivan Sanchez

Author:Ivan Sanchez
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781576875308
Publisher: powerHouse Books
Published: 2009-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

Track 7: Don’t Know What… We’re Running From

His name was Peace. He was serving out several life sentences for murder and would never see the light of day again as a free man. Respected and feared, Peace didn’t talk to anyone outside of his immediate circle. He was a real cold motherfucker. At the time I believed Peace didn’t speak to me because I rolled with morenos, and to me he was a nobody, until a chance encounter taught me different.

A few days after being released from the hole for punching out Blood, Peace stepped to me and said, “Yo, I want to talk to you.”

“Yeah what’s up,” I shot back.

“I know who you are and I want to tell you a couple of things. I know everything about you man. I know who you are on the street. I know about your reputation.

I know who you are in here. And I want you to know that you ain’t shit man. You ain’t nothing. You ain’t doing nothing with yourself, and you ain’t half of the man you think you are.”

Who the fuck was this guy to be telling me about myself?

I guess he could see the anger beginning to build on my face, and he quickly went from telling me who I wasn’t to telling me who he was. “I killed three people man. I was hit with multiple life sentences. I’m gonna be in this fucking place for the rest of my life. How do you think I feel about that? You think I don’t have children in the street? Yo, do me a favor and look at me when I talk to you man. I’m gonna be here my whole life. You think I don’t have family out on the street, a girl I left behind? You think I don’t have a mother? I will never see them again as a free man. I’ll never see the streets again.”

The words coming out of Peace’s mouth were real and raw. He spoke with conviction and honesty and he definitely had my undivided attention.

“You stupid man,” he said. “I don’t care if you get offended but I have to tell you. You’re being real fucking stupid. I know that you ain’t doing nothing to change your life for the better. I got my education in here. I’m working towards a second degree. I’ve been here a long time but it’s still important to me to keep my mind awake, so I can help other brothers who want to be helped. Do you want to be helped brother?”

All I could do was shake my head and listen intently to the words he was speaking. “I’m gonna die in here. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you bro? I’m gonna die in here.”

All I could say was, “Yeah.”

Peace asked me if I cared about my family, and when I answered with an unquestionable yes, he told me that I had to prove that I cared with my actions not just my words.

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