I Will Die in a Foreign Land by Kalani Pickhart

Author:Kalani Pickhart
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Two Dollar Radio
Published: 2021-10-19T00:00:00+00:00

AUDIO CASSETTE RECORDING

SIDE ONE CONTINUED

The old piano teacher—the last day he saw me, he said: Aleksandr, do you know what your name means?

No, I said, picking up the tools. I pressed down on an ivory key, testing the sound.

Alexander the Great. A conqueror. A killer. The name Alexander actually means ‘Defender of Man.’

The old teacher knelt to look me in the eyes. He held my shoulders. I had been serving as his eyes, which were gray and fogging, yet he saw so clearly what I didn’t.

Aleksandr, he said. Do you understand what I mean? I shook my head. I felt inexplicably afraid. For him, for us.

The lion is both a hunter and a protector, Aleksandr. Pride—both a virtue and a vice. He patted my head.

He said, Take care, son. And that was all.

[Silence.]

[A tea kettle whistles. A chair creaks, the sound

of footsteps away, footsteps near. A chair creaks.]

The Czech hated the Soviets, sweet Anna. Ah, your people—your mother’s people—such passionate people. I hadn’t expected the crowds, the fires, the protest, the boys being thrown onto the pavement, arrested. Men and women spat in my face. A boy on the tank with me was struck in the jaw with a brick. He cried out, guttural. His jaw heavy, his pain primal as an ape.

That was August 1968. We had encompassed the city. One night, I was patrolling the Charles Bridge on foot and I saw the same woman with short dark hair, mussed by the summer wind. I was alone and she hid in the shadow of a statue, feet touching the edge of the bridge. She was considering whether or not to jump.

Wait— I said, and she startled, balanced herself with her palm on the arched back of the saint. She turned to look at me in the lamplight, her red coat open, revealing a dress. She had been crying a great deal.

He left, she said. To France. He left me and now you’re here.

Come down from there, I said. Please.

He left because of you, she said.

He left because he’s a coward, I said. Another will not make the same mistake.

She looked down at me. She held out her hand. She was warm, her strength unexpected.

Will you walk me home? She asked me.

I am working, I said.

For how long? she asked.

Until dawn, I said.

She looked at her watch.

Three hours, she said.

She looked away from me, toward the end of the bridge.

You’re alone, she said.

For another half-hour.

I have been grieving, she said, coming closer to me. I’m tired of grief.

I’m married, I said. I have a daughter. Back home. I leaned away from her.

You raped my country, she said. You’re a dog in heat. She stepped toward me, I stepped away. She was burning.

I’m working, I said, looking at her, direct. That is all.

She was silent as she cooled. She circled me, looked my uniform and gun up and down.

What is your name? she asked me.

Ivanovich, I said. She walked toward a large statue, near the end of the bridge. I followed her.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.