I Do It with the Lights On by Whitney Way Thore

Author:Whitney Way Thore
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2016-05-30T16:00:00+00:00

I didn’t dare dream of messing up my diet this early, so I wrapped my arms inside my jacket and settled in for the movie. I thought about plugging up my nostrils and mouth-breathing for the duration of the film just to avoid the popcorn aroma. The movie transfixed me. I watched the dancers and remembered what it was like to sweat from every pore, to be lean, to feel pressure, to perform, and to succeed. Maybe, I thought, just maybe, I’m on my way back there.

By day ten of my detox there was good news and bad news. The good: I’d lost ten pounds. The bad: I had to leave abruptly that day to drive my mom down to Mississippi to tend to some family business for a week. I hadn’t had my license renewed since I’d been home back in the States, so I’d have to go to the DMV for that, too. Will gave me instructions to follow my diet the best I could, to try to walk at least three times, and on Friday, I could have my first cheat day—an entire day of unrestricted eating. I left the gym for the DMV and when it came my turn, still dressed in my tank top and hoodie, my sweaty hair pulled back, I realized that for the first time in quite a while it wasn’t hard to smile. I felt happy. When I got back in the car, I opened up Facebook. I didn’t update my status very often, as I felt I didn’t have much to say, and never wanted to be someone who recorded every mundane detail of her life. I wonder if I should say anything, I thought. I didn’t want to jinx myself. Eh, fuck it.

Day 10 = 10 pounds lost. Post.

When I got home my dad helped me load up the car with my scale, my George Foreman grill, various Mrs. Dash seasonings, and measuring cups. I kept a cooler of food in the front seat with my mom for the twelve-hour drive. I promised my dad I would keep to my plan, and I did. Every four hours on the road, I pulled over to gobble down my small meal or snack. During the week, I walked through the neighborhood, almost finishing a mile. I said no to every diet drink, sweet tea, or piece of gum that was offered to me. By the end of the week I’d lost another three pounds. I was elated and ready for my cheat day. The next morning I headed out of my uncle’s house to McDonald’s, where I indulged in not one, but two of my favorite sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits and I gulped down a large sweet tea. Later that evening I had a pasta dish when we went out to eat. This isn’t so bad, I reasoned. Go through hell for six days and eat on the seventh. Doable. When I woke up the next morning, I hopped on the scale to see the damage.

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