I Can Only Imagine by Bart Millard

Author:Bart Millard
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2018-01-18T05:00:00+00:00

Matters of Life and Death

To no one’s surprise, Dad’s funeral was packed. In the days after his death, a lot of people brought food and offered their condolences and support. But when the grief really sets in is when everyone leaves, when everyone goes back to their normal lives. Everyone except you.

What was real life supposed to look like now? I had no idea. After all, it was just Mammaw Millard and me—an eighteen-year-old and a seventy-six-year-old—living in the same quiet, lonely house.

I went to Dad’s gravesite a lot. I also went through the normal ordeal of walking in the house, momentarily forgetting or denying his absence, and going to his room to check on him. I would walk over to a phone to try to call him. I would glance outside the house and think I saw him. And then I would remember he was gone.

When I went through Dad’s personal belongings, I came upon a box of letters and cards that I quickly saw were connected to Mom. They had been written in the past year. It was clear from reading Mom’s responses that Dad had apologized for everything. Mom also expressed deep regret for leaving him. It was obvious they had made peace with each other and wished they had worked harder to save their marriage. Dad actually stated in one card, “My biggest mistake in life was letting you go.” Maybe deep down it was another reason why he had never remarried.

To get to read my parents’ words of reconciliation was an interesting but welcome bit of closure. Dad clearly did all he could to make things right with Mom and ask for forgiveness. All those times he had read through the Bible brought practical steps he had taken to leave his business here on earth in the proper order to be above reproach in the sight of God and man.

In the following months, I realized how much harder Dad’s death would have been for me if he had died suddenly. But near the end, I saw how much Dad was suffering and the pain he was in. I knew he wanted to be with the Lord. He was ready for heaven. That made my letting him go a little easier.

For so many years, Dad’s anger and pride had gotten the best of him and ruled our home. He could never admit he was wrong. I really believe that had he not gotten cancer, he likely would have died a bitter old man.

I have heard many pastors over the years say that two of the most important words in Scripture are, “But God . . .” When He shows up, everything changes. After just five years of growing spiritually, Dad was a “man after God’s own heart,” the godliest man I knew.

He was ready to go. He was so ready. He wanted to stop the chemo and the suffering.

I learned from how he lived, but I also learned so much from watching him die. My dad had no doubts about where he was going.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.