How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying by Leifer Carol

Author:Leifer, Carol [Leifer, Carol]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781594746826
Publisher: Quirk Books
Published: 2014-04-08T00:00:00+00:00

With Paul Reiser backstage in Atlantic City, 1982.

CHAPTER 11

WHO ELSE IS A PROCTOLOGIST GONNA TALK TO?

Back when I was starting out in New York, I got booked to do a corporate gig, and like most of these jobs, it was in a hotel ballroom. Typically, my agent would book these gigs, but I would go by myself. I’ve always been pretty low maintenance and don’t require much hand holding.

So I arrived at the job to find two of the three things that a comedian requires to do a show: a microphone and a stand to hold it. But not the third: a spotlight.

“Excuse me,” I said as I approached the tech guy. “Who is going to be working the follow spot for me tonight?”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” he replied.

“It was in the contract,” I tried to remind him. “It’s the spotlight to follow me while I perform.”

The dude looked at me blankly and then said, “Well, we don’t have it.” Only he said it as if he was annoyed, like, “Oh, get a load of this diva. We don’t have her spotlight!” As if I was Cher or something.

So, while making a mental note that my agent needed to double check this detail for future gigs—like a lot of things in my haphazard profession—I decided to grin and bear it.

That is, until a fellow comic stepped in and came to the rescue …

I was fortunate enough to be introduced by Joan Rivers, who’d been booked for a brief appearance at the event. Sure enough, Joan strode into that ballroom (agent-less, as I was), and like any pro she got an immediate lay of the land. It didn’t take one minute.

“Where’s her spotlight?” Joan asked.

“Huh?” Mr. I-Could-Give-a-Crap responded.

“Carol’s follow spot. Where is it?”

“Ummm …,” the tech mumbled. Then, pointing to me, he said, “I told her I don’t know.”

“Well, that’s just unacceptable,” Joan said. “That’s an important element of her show. It brings a sense of focus to the audience.”

The dude just shrugged helplessly as a frustrated Joan bounded onstage. After a couple minutes of doing her thing, Joan turned to my introduction.

“Look, I’m just a pop-in guest here,” Joan said to the crowd. “But the woman who’s going to entertain you for the bulk of the evening has a big stumbling block ahead. You shtummies didn’t provide a spotlight for her. And lest you think that’s a trivial omission, it’s not. You’d know that if you were me, but you’re car salesmen! So give her your full attention, because I’ll accept nothing less!”

My hero.

After giving the tech guy a solid “toldja so!” look, I walked onstage. And lemme tell ya, that audience gave me everything and more. (Would you want to face the wrath of Joan Rivers?!)

All it took to turn things around was another comic to fully understand my situation. And here’s the lesson behind this particular incident: Make sure you cultivate a fellowship with the people you work with, because that will come in handy in times like these.

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