Honey in the Marrow by Waters Emily

Author:Waters, Emily
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ylva Publishing
Published: 2022-10-10T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12

Stella wakes up to light shining in through the window and the sound of Elizabeth whimpering. After several long moments of disorientation, she remembers that she’s in her own bed, in her own room, in her own house. And Elizabeth spent the night.

The motion sensing light on the back porch—no doubt activated by a cat or a possum—illuminates Elizabeth. She is curled into a tight ball. She whimpers again softly, then makes another noise, more distressed this time, then mumbles, then says quite clearly, “No!”

Stella reaches out and puts her hand on Elizabeth’s bare shoulder. Presses gently and then slides her hand down her arm. She repeats the motion twice before Elizabeth settles down. A minute later, the porch light shuts off and the room is dark again.

It feels like something Stella was not meant to see, and she realizes that Elizabeth’s strength might be something of an act for Stella’s benefit. She knows all too well the horrors Elizabeth faces in her work every day. She knows that Elizabeth’s ex-husband abandoned his family. And she also knows that, not too long ago, Elizabeth witnessed her friend and colleague gunned down in cold blood.

She wraps her fingers loosely around Elizabeth’s wrist. She imagines pulling Elizabeth toward her until her whole body is pressed against Stella’s. That’s as far as she will allow her libido to take her, despite the bees humming under her skin. Anything more seems impossible.

Elizabeth is quiet now, though still breathing heavily. Her fingers twitch, and Stella wraps her hand over Elizabeth’s and holds it.

Stella feels like a teenager, excited to hold hands for the first time. Her heart beats like she ran around the block a few times. She’s sweaty and hot, the bees swarming inside. Elizabeth seems to settle down, but now Stella can’t breathe. The hand holding Elizabeth’s is clammy, and her head is swimming. She pulls her hand away and scrambles out of bed. She stumbles into the nightstand, rattling everything on it. She can’t seem to find the doorway.

“It’s okay. It’s all right. Take a deep breath. Sit down.” Elizabeth speaks calmly and guides Stella to the edge of the mattress.

Stella sits down and leans forward, pressing her face between her knees. She used to be solid as a rock, unshakable. A man once tried to kill her, and she simply brushed herself off and went back to work. Now she’s always on the edge, the edge of crying, of panic, of never leaving her house again. Even holding hands with Elizabeth sent her spiraling; the thought of Elizabeth’s body against her own is overwhelming.

It all funnels back to pain again, like water circling a drain. Grief, anger, pleasure, all of it ends up in the same, rotten place.

Elizabeth is stroking her back, scratching at the base of her neck. Stella tries to breathe.

“I was having a bad dream too.” Elizabeth’s voice is thick with sleep.

Stella doesn’t tell her that she was barely sleeping at all. “My marriage wasn’t very good.” The confession tumbles out of her mouth.

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