History of a Suicide by Jill Bialosky

Author:Jill Bialosky
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books

WARNING BELL

The bittersweet aftertaste lingered in the quiver in her smile, the flashes of anger that gave over to sadness when her boyfriend’s name came up. Again, the conundrum: how he could be there one minute breathing in her hair, kissing her neck, promising more than he knew in the way he looked at her, and then he was gone, not having said much, just slowly fading away, the way boyfriends did when one is young.

In her high school senior photo she is wearing a magenta sweater. Her hair is combed in place and there is a frosty lip-gloss shine to her lips as if she has just fixed herself up in the mirror. She’s wearing her wanting-to-please face that belies her inner turmoil. She is the blond girl with the tight jeans, blue cloth binder pressed against her chest, the girl everyone at school flocked around, the girl the boys checked out. Not so good that she wouldn’t have a smoke in the girls’ bathroom. That kind. But something had changed. It was as if there was a tangle of spiderwebs in her head, distancing herself from herself. Two girls in one.

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