Healed by Love - Book 2

Author:Ami Le Coeur & Elle Dawson [Le Coeur, Ami]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Career Life Press
Published: 2015-09-18T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 10 – Maria

I didn’t say a word, just reached over and placed a hand on Thom’s muscular thigh, pleased when I noticed that he seemed to relax the tiniest bit from my touch.

We’d driven a few miles before he blew out a breath and dropped a hand to mine, its warmth enfolding my fingers, his thumb caressing my skin.

“You did the right thing.”

It was a simple phrase, five little words that seemed to have the impact of a bomb. He jerked in surprise. He wasn’t expecting them, I could tell. What had he expected?

“You did the right thing.”

Maybe hearing them a second time, the meaning behind them would sink in. It was another mile before they did. I felt them penetrate him and his rejection of them.

“It doesn’t feel that way. It feels like I let her down. Again.”

“You made the right choice in a bad situation. And you’ll continue to make right choices until things are the way they need to be. I know you. That is who you are.”

He let go of my hand and slammed his fist against the steering wheel. I didn’t jump. I was expecting this reaction. He never gave himself the benefit of the doubt.

“You think too highly of me,” he said, his voice low. “If I made the right choices, Emily wouldn’t be in this situation right now. She would be safe. She wouldn’t be afraid. Feel the need to run away. No. My choices have been far from right.”

“What choices would you change if you could?”

I remembered my therapist asking me that question after the accident and how upset I’d gotten when she kept pressing on and on and on, helping me see what was beyond my control and what wasn’t.

“I wouldn’t have gotten involved with Rachel.” His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.

“Then you wouldn’t have had Emily, so you made the right choice back then. What else?”

He thought for a moment. “I wouldn’t allow my brain to take over. The flashbacks. The nightmares. I’d have control, not be so damn weak.”

I huffed. “Do you think the thousands of soldiers who suffer from PTSD are weak?”

“No!” The answer was immediate.

“That’s essentially what you just said. That every person who has gone through trauma, or the horrors of war, should have the ability to control their mind. And if they didn’t, they’re weak.”

I watched him process what I’d said. Resist it and finally accept it. “That’s not what I meant.”

Raising my hand to rest on his forearm, I stroked his skin with my thumb. “I know it isn’t, but it’s what you think about yourself. That you should be better than all the thousands of others. Stronger. More resistant. You’re a human being, my love. With the same brain and cells as the rest of us. The same emotional responses. You, like most of the billions of people on this planet, are just doing their best. Every single day.”

“But—”

“But nothing, Thom. Most men who come back from war have at least some small circle of loving people to help ease them back into their world.

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